Read all about it Al Goreby in all his sky-has-fallen glory, has duped millions in the country into believing he really cares about the environment. In the meantime, he is flying all over the place guilting ordinary people into self-loathing because of the so-called global warming phenomenon...once someone tells me why it was hotter when the dinosaurs were here, went into an ice age, then got so warm you could farm on Greenland, all while humans managed to evolve into a very successful species, but NOW we should be running around afraid of our own shadows, then I'll be convinced. In the meanwhile.... Gore's flying around is using some astronomically higher amount of gas than the average American. Now, we also learn his mansion consumes TWENTY TIMES the amount of resources as the average American household. What, only the rich get the convenience of air conditioning without guilt? Only the rich get to consume huge swaths of land while the rest of us should cram into "land efficient" (read: multi-story matchboxes) housing? WTF?! And there's still a person out there who listens to this asshole? This chronic prevaricator? And Hollywood. PUHLEEZE! Their limosines... their flying here there and everywhere at the drop of at hat...their mansions which consume the most pristine cliffs in the world... Anybody know what the "footprint" on the earth is when they film explosions, and floods, and fires, and everything else? I'm just so sure! Don't be a fool people... global warming is purely a way to shift money from wealthy people (except the most elite) to the poor, from wealthier nations to poorer nations. It's a way to control what humans do (except the most elite) and to frighten them into submission in some pre-ordained way. It's the new cult religion, and you should be afraid.

Read all about it A teacher sends a text message about a "drug deal" to a state trooper by mistake... I would find this pretty laughable, but with an additional read, I find the poor teacher was just trying to get some weed. Pot! A damn plant, okay people? And she's being charged with "conspiracy to traffic in controlled substances within 1,000 feet of a school, possession of marijuana and possession of drug paraphernalia." I can't believe how much time and effort we waste in locking people up who just want marijuana. It makes absolutely no sense when our "justice" system lets cretins like the one pictured below freely roam our streets after committing several violent felonies. In the meantime, cops are quite busy chasing innocent human beings who just want to relax in the confines of their own homes with a plant that is one trillionth as poisonous to the human body as alcoholic beverages. So while this cretin roamed our streets with impunity and murdered an utterly innocent, heroic man who was a loving husband and father of two twin girls, thousands of pot smokers were imprisoned for years of their lives.

Feel safer?

Murderer of a manager at a local Home Depot:

The murderer shall remain the nameless, soul-less molecule of pond scum that it is. The pond scum murdered Tom Egan, father of two beautiful twin daughters, loving husband to AJ, as Mr. Egan worked some additional overtime to support his family.

I am still 99.9999% resistant to any commentary on Baldy or dearly departed ANS. However, the remaining .0001% could not resist this fabulous quote from Foxnews.com columnist Mike Straka. For your information, he coined the term "obliviot" to describe idiots who are oblivious to their idiocy. For example, it is obliviots who stop at the end of an escalator after taking a single one inch step. Subsequently, those who are being propelled towards that very same spot by the machinery but have nowhere to go and no choice but to physically shove that obliviot out of the way. Many obliviots have met the palms of my hands in this circumstance. After all, given the choice between falling on an escalator and having my hair ripped from my skull by the gears, or sending Aunt Flo teeth first into the floor, guess which option I'm choosing. But I digress. Yes, the person who coins such an AbFab term as obliviot deserves respek. He also brings us the following absolutely fabulous quote for the day:

I used to try to defend Spears, but when K-Fed comes out looking like the one with the head screwed on right, something is rotten in Denmark.

'Nuff said!

Read all about it Loyal readers will remember the predictions of this blogger way back when Hillbilly was floating around the possibility that she would run for president. If you aren't loyal, smoke marijuana, have short term memory loss due to injury or temporary death, or you are loyal but a newer member of the coolest blog community on earth (I mean really, MySpace is so 2004), click -->Here<-- to read that post. I knew a presidential race that includes Hillbilly would be a fun ride. However, Barak Obama has provided us with an early Hillbilly's Wild Ride. Hillbilly wants to know how DARE Mr. Obama take a contribution from HER ...her what? Former contributor? Once you contribue to Hillbilly or Billary, you're owned by them for life? I just love the way this exposes Hillbilly for the petty bitch that she is. Her feewings are huht becawze the Follywood Movie Stars aren't falling lock-step behind her bid to be El Prezidente. Now if that isn't something to start laughing at... maybe this is...

This quote is from Mz. Michela herself... out loud, in her litte car, driving down the road, listening to the media who just couldn't cough up enough spittle to kiss Hillbillies big fat ass if they tried even harder than they are now.

Dear God! I couldn't take another four years of a Bush or a Clinton or of a Clinton with a bush!

You heard it here first loyal MWB-ers! Beautiful babay! Beautiful!!!

Read all about it Read the above article to find out why America's Most Wanted finds that the persecution of the three fine men you see below has points directly to the Bush Administration and its desire to create open borders. FREE THE TEXAS THREE

These are the victims of Johnny Sutton, US Attorney, evil the size of any Satan you can dream up, and Debra Kanof, his dagger-hearted henchwoman: From left to right: Jose Compean, father of three, loving husband to his high school sweetheart Claudia. Ignacio Ramos, father of three, Veteran of the United States Navy, loving husband to his wife Monica (pictured) Gilmer Hernandez, father of a nine month old baby girl (pictured), loving husband to his wife Ashley.

All of these men were prosecuted and imprisoned by US Attorney Johnny Sutton. All of these men are Hispanics; all were law enforcement officers on a typical day at work. By having an encounter with an illegal alien, they were then caught in what I am convinced was an edict to go after any and all law enforcement officers who tangle with illegal aliens. There is no doubt about it...this edict went from George W. Bush to Johnny Sutton, the US Attorney appointed by Bush involved in all these cases. Sutton, loyal to the corrupt buddy who appointed him to his office executed the plan perfectly. And now, three families, SEVEN children, three wives, and the future of our nation, have been destroyed. That's quite a legacy, Bush. That's quite a legacy, Sutton. All I can say is the two of you profess to be Christians; you had better pray you are wrong; that there is no Christian god. For, if there is, you are both burning in hell for what you have done.

Read all about it A former auctioneer and father of 12 (yes, 12) was shopping with his wife at a department store when he told her he was going to grab a quick coffee somewhere, not to be seen again for five years. When the man submitted a rental application, the police received word of this missing person's location. They went to interview him, and essentially, he just doesn't want to be found. Mrs. McFly denies that the man they found is him, that she won't believe it's him unless she can talk to him. He doesn't want to talk to her... Well it all sounds plausible and reasonable that someone could have stolen his identify, the police made a mistake in identifying him, yadda yadda. However, then we learn he has done this before. In a fabulous case of living on the river DeNial, she says of the most recent disappearance:

"We were very close and we did everything together, every day. I don't know what to think, I still feel something happened to him -- why would he be in Pennsylvania and not call us? I mean that's not that far away."

Now, I don't know what could have happened between Mr. & Mrs. McFly that would make Mr. McFly feel this burning desire to vanish while getting coffee not once--but twice. One telling clue is Mrs. McFly's statement that they did everythign together every single day. That's enough to make one feel like they're living with a pillow pasted over one's head just a millimeter short of suffocation. And given the fact that he disappeared one other time under the exact same circumstances:

"We then began to dig into the history of Mr. Van Tassel and learned that he did a similar thing and was missing in another part of the country a year previously," said a detective working on the case.

In the earlier disappearance, he also told his wife he was going for coffee. His abandoned truck was found weeks later in Ohio, and Van Tassel was found 72 days later at a homeless shelter in Iowa.

At the time, family members blamed his disappearance on stress and a lack of business at his 32-year-old company, Van Tassel's Auctions.

...you have to wonder how Mrs. McFly still seems to have absolutely no clue why Mr. McFly wanted to flee so badly he was willing to let his entire family think he is dead. Maybe that very blind eye is just one of the reason.

Read all about it Now if I had this math teacher in high school, maybe I wouldn't have ditched class so often. Here's a math problem on a real math test given by a teacher in New Mexico:

Smoky J. sells meth. Smoky's source says he has to sell a G's worth of meth by the end of the month. If Smoky sold 240 dollars the first week and 532 dollars the second week, how much money must Smoky make if he wants to avoid the beat down from his connection?

It's a little unclear how said teacher didn't anticipate the beat down he was in for by putting such a question on a math test.

Read all about it I just don't know what to think when undercover Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms agents have so little real fucking work to do that they: 1-- Conduct an "investigation" into the possibility that illegal betting on a football game is occurring at an ELK'S lodge. You read that right...an ELK'S lodge. 2-- Send armed agents into said lodge to search it, and confiscate an envelope containing $50 from the so-called illegal gambling operation at said ELK'S lodge. 3-- The "head" (yeah, dickhead) of the Riverside ATF justifies this outrageous waste of taxpayer dollars by saying the football pool is a "violation of the law" and that the agency must "take whatever we feel is appropriate action to ensure compliance". You read that quote right as well... "whatever WE feel" is the appropirate action. Who the hell do these people work for anyway? Who pays their paychecks? YOU my friends, YOU do! This dickhead furter states that he is recommending a one year probationary period for the non-compliant ELK'S LODGE which would require the Elk's lodge to cease and desist all "gambling activities" (since when the hell is a $50 football pool a gambling activity! JFC!) must be halted. He confirms, my friends, that such a suspension includes the Elk's Lodge 50-50 raffle event that raises money for disabled children and veterans. Oh, and by the way, a 73 year-old great grandmother and a 39 year-old Elk's Lodge volunteer are facing a year in jail due to the powerful gambling racket they were running over there at the ELK'S lodge. Can I say this enough times? It was a $50 football pool at an ELK'S Lodge! I don't know about you folks, but I am really starting to believe we live in a poilce state and we need to be very, very afraid of our police, government, and politicians. Very, very afraid.