I am still 99.9999% resistant to any commentary on Baldy or dearly departed ANS. However, the remaining .0001% could not resist this fabulous quote from Foxnews.com columnist Mike Straka. For your information, he coined the term "obliviot" to describe idiots who are oblivious to their idiocy. For example, it is obliviots who stop at the end of an escalator after taking a single one inch step. Subsequently, those who are being propelled towards that very same spot by the machinery but have nowhere to go and no choice but to physically shove that obliviot out of the way. Many obliviots have met the palms of my hands in this circumstance. After all, given the choice between falling on an escalator and having my hair ripped from my skull by the gears, or sending Aunt Flo teeth first into the floor, guess which option I'm choosing. But I digress. Yes, the person who coins such an AbFab term as obliviot deserves respek. He also brings us the following absolutely fabulous quote for the day:

I used to try to defend Spears, but when K-Fed comes out looking like the one with the head screwed on right, something is rotten in Denmark.

'Nuff said!

Read all about it Loyal readers will remember the predictions of this blogger way back when Hillbilly was floating around the possibility that she would run for president. If you aren't loyal, smoke marijuana, have short term memory loss due to injury or temporary death, or you are loyal but a newer member of the coolest blog community on earth (I mean really, MySpace is so 2004), click -->Here<-- to read that post. I knew a presidential race that includes Hillbilly would be a fun ride. However, Barak Obama has provided us with an early Hillbilly's Wild Ride. Hillbilly wants to know how DARE Mr. Obama take a contribution from HER ...her what? Former contributor? Once you contribue to Hillbilly or Billary, you're owned by them for life? I just love the way this exposes Hillbilly for the petty bitch that she is. Her feewings are huht becawze the Follywood Movie Stars aren't falling lock-step behind her bid to be El Prezidente. Now if that isn't something to start laughing at... maybe this is...

This quote is from Mz. Michela herself... out loud, in her litte car, driving down the road, listening to the media who just couldn't cough up enough spittle to kiss Hillbillies big fat ass if they tried even harder than they are now.

Dear God! I couldn't take another four years of a Bush or a Clinton or of a Clinton with a bush!

You heard it here first loyal MWB-ers! Beautiful babay! Beautiful!!!

Read all about it Read the above article to find out why America's Most Wanted finds that the persecution of the three fine men you see below has points directly to the Bush Administration and its desire to create open borders. FREE THE TEXAS THREE

These are the victims of Johnny Sutton, US Attorney, evil the size of any Satan you can dream up, and Debra Kanof, his dagger-hearted henchwoman: From left to right: Jose Compean, father of three, loving husband to his high school sweetheart Claudia. Ignacio Ramos, father of three, Veteran of the United States Navy, loving husband to his wife Monica (pictured) Gilmer Hernandez, father of a nine month old baby girl (pictured), loving husband to his wife Ashley.

All of these men were prosecuted and imprisoned by US Attorney Johnny Sutton. All of these men are Hispanics; all were law enforcement officers on a typical day at work. By having an encounter with an illegal alien, they were then caught in what I am convinced was an edict to go after any and all law enforcement officers who tangle with illegal aliens. There is no doubt about it...this edict went from George W. Bush to Johnny Sutton, the US Attorney appointed by Bush involved in all these cases. Sutton, loyal to the corrupt buddy who appointed him to his office executed the plan perfectly. And now, three families, SEVEN children, three wives, and the future of our nation, have been destroyed. That's quite a legacy, Bush. That's quite a legacy, Sutton. All I can say is the two of you profess to be Christians; you had better pray you are wrong; that there is no Christian god. For, if there is, you are both burning in hell for what you have done.

Read all about it A former auctioneer and father of 12 (yes, 12) was shopping with his wife at a department store when he told her he was going to grab a quick coffee somewhere, not to be seen again for five years. When the man submitted a rental application, the police received word of this missing person's location. They went to interview him, and essentially, he just doesn't want to be found. Mrs. McFly denies that the man they found is him, that she won't believe it's him unless she can talk to him. He doesn't want to talk to her... Well it all sounds plausible and reasonable that someone could have stolen his identify, the police made a mistake in identifying him, yadda yadda. However, then we learn he has done this before. In a fabulous case of living on the river DeNial, she says of the most recent disappearance:

"We were very close and we did everything together, every day. I don't know what to think, I still feel something happened to him -- why would he be in Pennsylvania and not call us? I mean that's not that far away."

Now, I don't know what could have happened between Mr. & Mrs. McFly that would make Mr. McFly feel this burning desire to vanish while getting coffee not once--but twice. One telling clue is Mrs. McFly's statement that they did everythign together every single day. That's enough to make one feel like they're living with a pillow pasted over one's head just a millimeter short of suffocation. And given the fact that he disappeared one other time under the exact same circumstances:

"We then began to dig into the history of Mr. Van Tassel and learned that he did a similar thing and was missing in another part of the country a year previously," said a detective working on the case.

In the earlier disappearance, he also told his wife he was going for coffee. His abandoned truck was found weeks later in Ohio, and Van Tassel was found 72 days later at a homeless shelter in Iowa.

At the time, family members blamed his disappearance on stress and a lack of business at his 32-year-old company, Van Tassel's Auctions.

...you have to wonder how Mrs. McFly still seems to have absolutely no clue why Mr. McFly wanted to flee so badly he was willing to let his entire family think he is dead. Maybe that very blind eye is just one of the reason.

Read all about it Now if I had this math teacher in high school, maybe I wouldn't have ditched class so often. Here's a math problem on a real math test given by a teacher in New Mexico:

Smoky J. sells meth. Smoky's source says he has to sell a G's worth of meth by the end of the month. If Smoky sold 240 dollars the first week and 532 dollars the second week, how much money must Smoky make if he wants to avoid the beat down from his connection?

It's a little unclear how said teacher didn't anticipate the beat down he was in for by putting such a question on a math test.

Read all about it I just don't know what to think when undercover Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms agents have so little real fucking work to do that they: 1-- Conduct an "investigation" into the possibility that illegal betting on a football game is occurring at an ELK'S lodge. You read that right...an ELK'S lodge. 2-- Send armed agents into said lodge to search it, and confiscate an envelope containing $50 from the so-called illegal gambling operation at said ELK'S lodge. 3-- The "head" (yeah, dickhead) of the Riverside ATF justifies this outrageous waste of taxpayer dollars by saying the football pool is a "violation of the law" and that the agency must "take whatever we feel is appropriate action to ensure compliance". You read that quote right as well... "whatever WE feel" is the appropirate action. Who the hell do these people work for anyway? Who pays their paychecks? YOU my friends, YOU do! This dickhead furter states that he is recommending a one year probationary period for the non-compliant ELK'S LODGE which would require the Elk's lodge to cease and desist all "gambling activities" (since when the hell is a $50 football pool a gambling activity! JFC!) must be halted. He confirms, my friends, that such a suspension includes the Elk's Lodge 50-50 raffle event that raises money for disabled children and veterans. Oh, and by the way, a 73 year-old great grandmother and a 39 year-old Elk's Lodge volunteer are facing a year in jail due to the powerful gambling racket they were running over there at the ELK'S lodge. Can I say this enough times? It was a $50 football pool at an ELK'S Lodge! I don't know about you folks, but I am really starting to believe we live in a poilce state and we need to be very, very afraid of our police, government, and politicians. Very, very afraid.

With Michela's fury over the prison beating of Ignacio Nacho Ramos put on ice so that she doesn't drop dead of a heart attack after pulling out all her thick locks with the hand-wringing of the clinically insane, we're going to lighten the post up a bit today with this fabulous quote from her favorite rag, MAXIM magazine:

Popped Collars... Complete list of the people who can get away with this look: Elvis, Elvis impersonators, Dracula. Everybody else, tuck them down. Dick.

For those guys out there who are still unclear on this immutable fashion edict, please see the following clearly illustrated guide before you become a dick:

Her second favorite quote from MAXIM? Where the writer tells "kelp boy" that vegan bacon sucks. However, given the recent events at the Canadian pig farm, we'll just keep that one under our hats.

Mr. President, I have supported you when others laughed and thought I was stupid. I supported the war in Iraq when it was becoming increasingly clear that public sentiment was turning against it. I supported your choices for Supreme Court and Cabinet. I voted for you and Republican candidates at all levels despite the media’s propaganda. I have been loyal to the ideals that you have pretended to follow. Now you show your true colors in refusing to pardon Ignacio Ramos and Jose Campean. Tom Tancredo is absolutely correct: You are an embarrassment to the office of the President of the United States of America. Even if you win the war in Iraq (which you won’t now that congress is run by the Democrats), you will LOSE the war on terror by refusing to close the southern border. Your myopic “open borders” policy is going to allow terrorists to freely enter the U.S. and Americans will die. But you do not seem to care about that, just keeping your buddies down south happy. Pathetic. How can you call yourself a God-fearing man when you take no action to end this injustice? How do you think God would look upon your inaction in this case? These men did nothing but follow the law and try to protect Americans, now they are going to prison for it. I am so angry at you personally, no liberal could EVER match my disgust. I feel betrayed as I have never felt betrayed by a politician before. I have been a stupid dupe, but my naivety ends here. I now see your true stripes and will vote my disgust at YOU and YOUR PARTY every chance I get. Not that the Democrats are a much better choice, but at least I expect them to be traitors so I am not angered as much by it. You, on the other hand, I expected to be loyal to America and the sworn officers serving in your Injustice department. What is wrong with you? This should never have happened in America. Thank you for giving amnesty to a Mexican DRUG SMUGGLER and illegal invader. Thanks for pardoning all of those other criminals that you let off easy. Man, I used to think that Bill Clinton was evil and a crook, but he’s got nothing on YOU. I’m sick with anger and disgust. I hope every border patrol agent quits tonight and we let the Mexicans invade. May God have mercy on your soul. The children of these men are the ones who will pay the most. I wonder if the drug smuggler who was rightfully shot in the butt (should have been shot in the head and this wouldn’t be an issue) will be spending Easter with his family? David Eisenbeisz American Citizen and supporter of the Border Patrol, Ignacio Ramos, and Jose Campean P.S. Tony Snow needs to GO. His condescending and self-righteous attitude toward these two fine officers is sickening and you will be the one to pay the price for his arrogance. You will become the most hated president ever; even more vilified than Lyndon Johnson or Richard Nixon. Iraq won’t be your Viet Nam, Jose Campean and Ignacio Ramos will be.