Read all about it Google has so much cash laying around, the SEC might need to regulate it as a mutual fund. You know I had the same problem myself, then I married and divorced a bloodsucking creature that anthropologists had previously failed to classify. I no longer have that problem.

Read all about it A mother of two small children in Florida had bats flying around her apartment, which is bizarre enough in itself. Bats? Have YOU ever had multiple BATS flying around your house? This mother of the year refuses rabies vaccinations for the children. Several years ago, a guy out in the middle of Nowheresville corralled a single bat in a bag to get it out of his shed, and later died an agonzing rabid death. He had been very slightly scratched by the bat and didn't realize it. So say again why you'd refuse vaccinations when you had several bats flying around your Florida apartment...we SoCali folks are confused. (Confusion clears as readers note this all takes place in Florida...)

Read all about it This is an absolutely fascinating article. It talks about how the moon is drifting away from the earth at about 1.5 inches a year. Okay, what goddamn SUV is causing this! Which capitalist pig! We must stop this, NOW! Our universe isn't supposed to change! Not one inch, not one degree! Humans must intervene to stop this madness! Wait, didn't human intervention cause this? Forget humans intervening. Call in the mules! The elephants! The rhinos! To hell with humans! If you applied the logic of global warming parrots to the movement of the moon, we'd have to get rid of all SUVs and humans and go do something about this shift. But it gets better...according to scientists, probably the same ones who tell us humans are going to destroy the earth if the average temperature rises by 5 friggin degrees (no kidding, this is the worst case scenario the chicken littles can offer), we shall all perish. Those scientists are telling us unless we can push the earth away from the sun, at some point it will incinerate us when it "swells into a red giant." Huh? Earth is going to be cooked to fairy dust by the swelling red giant of a sun and they wanna take away my SUV? Doesn't this mean that it is possible the SUN has changed the heat it sends to earth, even if very subtly, as it prepares to swell into a red giant? Or shouldn't we all just live for today ! mama mia....

And that's just all there is to say. It sucks, sucks SUCKS! Was it designed by a twelve year old 35 years ago? That's how bad it sucks. It cannot be described, how much it sucks. Why an enterprise such as the one I work for would find any reason to still use this piece of shit also cannot be described or explained. TO HELL WITH LOTUS NOTES AND EVERY DEVELOPER WHO EVER WORKED ON THE GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT!

As my friends know, I am thoroughly baffled by the popularity of the restaurant Outback Steakhouse. My bewilderment has been reinforced by a recent horrible meal I was forced to suffer through at this restaurant which continues to make me believe the food is borderline poison, but somehow the place is as popular as ever. In previous visits, I have tried the steak (an overpriced filet mignon cooked rare has the texture of beef jerky and the flavor of cardboard), the chicken (to describe the chicken breast as rubber would be generous), and now the shrimp "griller". The shrimp were essentially chewing gum, and had the seasoning of a fish salted so much that it would be preserved for two millennia in King Tut's tomb without rotting. Oh let's talk about the service; given the salted mackerel posing as shrimp that I was attempting to eat, I drank my entire bottle of Perrier pretty quickly. My attempts to make eye contact with one of the purple-shirted servers did not succeed; it was 10 minutes or more before anyone was able to get another drink... iGanja had to stand up and flag someone down since the purple shirts were running by us as though we were contagious. Why did I eat there once again? My sissie picked this restaurant to celebrate my niece's 5th birthday; it's a clamorous place, and children can be as rambunctious as they want and it's hardly noticeable. So let's summarize Outback Steakhouse: --Terrible food whether from land or sea --Terrible service --A loud, raucous atmosphere which masks even the ranting of a two year old Anyone see any redeeming value here whatsoever? No? Then why is this place crowded even on a Sunday afternoon?!?!

John Ziegler, talk show host on KFI, gives us a truism that the Nazi Collaborating Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys (French) and the Nazis (Germans) would do well to understand, and remember what a short trip to 1939 we really are:

If the Middle East Muslims had no weapons, there would be no war. If the Israelis had no weapons, there would be no Israel.

For some reason the rest of the world has chosen to forget the Holocaust altogether and once again, unify against the Jewish community in a time of war. An accurate comparison of the situation in the Middle East is as follows: Let's say we took those pesky Minutemen the liberals love to hate; the volunteers who are helping our failing federal government defend and protect our borders. Let's say these pesky Minutemen started lobbing rockets and/or missiles into Mexico, for 2 years they do this. The world tells Mexico to pound sand. The pesky Minutemen relish in the negative publicity their victim, a sovereign nation, is receiving. They taunt Mexico even further by crossing the border into Mexico, kidnapping, torturing, and murdering two soldiers. What should Mexico do? The world condemns them as they decide enough is enough and they attack the Minutemen. Then the US says, hey, wait a sec, you can't attack our country! Mexico says, well, you shouldn't protect and house an organization who lobs rockets and missiles into our country for TWO YEARS while you do nothing, then let those same animals brutally kidnap our soldiers. And you know what? Mexico would have every right to come after us. THAT is the situation faced by Israel, THAT is why they must defend themselves to the death. We should not forget the horrifying religion of peace Israel is fighting--Islam—a religion that sanctions beatings to women who wear nail polish, stones people to death in this third millennium, a religion that justifies homicide bombings, the 9/11 attacks, beheadings, torture, murder, a religion that wishes to wipe the Infidels (anyone who is not an extreme Muslim fundamentalist) off the face of the earth. There isn’t a free country or place on this earth where Muslims run the show. Is that what we want for the world? Liberals wake up; hello!!!! you feminists, you’re the first to go if they take over! Personally, I think they're all eating too much cat poop. Read all about it

Read all about it So what if a governor referred to a massively fubar-ed endeavor such as Boston's Big Dig as a Tar Baby. Why are people offended? Why are people offended at the slightest verbal faux pas, then demanding of apologies and retractions and media statements and resignations and reparations and and and! When the Los Angeles Unified School District Superintendent compared the LA mayor's assertion that the district is poorly performing to propaganda about the Japanese during WWII, that was another unnecessary furor (totally intended). Get over yourselves people. Whether you're Jap, Wop, Chink, Nigger, Slant-eyed scoundrel, or a tar baby, you are not so almighty important that the mere utterance of the slur means you have been mortally wounded and retribution is mandatory. Fuh thuh luvah Gawd, just laugh at the errant stupidity, remember the last time you suffered from foot in mouth disease, and then get down off your goddamn high horse before you break your legs!

Read all about it John Kerry, that moron of Masachusetts (only one of many) has given us today's whacakdoo quote:

"If I was president, this [conflict between Hezbollah and Israel] wouldn't have happened."

Really? John Kerry, mister lead mouth himself, could have personally intervened and brought peace to the Middle East? A feat no person nor president, not even the butt kissing peace-nic Jimmy Carter, has been able to accomplish? IS HE INSANE? YES!

Thanks Frenchie--MWB's own Cheese Eating White Flag Surrender Frog. Michela has been quite uninspired to post anything meaningful and this is sorta funny.

Read all about it An AbFab Wiki How-To on how to cool yourself without air conditioning. With the prehistoric mental cases in the Middle East striking up another useless conflict, just to strike up another useless conflict, you may want to do all you can to keep from giving those assholes another dime. Since you can't walk to work, probably, you can save on some A/C usage... not sure if this will directly help, but it can't hurt your energy bills either. Sorry for the long absence peeps, but after a sin-filled week in Vegas, I'm a little slow to post. Good weekend all!