Read all about it Thank you Frenchie. We had no idea our enemies were such busy-bodies. And John Cleese may have been a major player in the funniest thing ever put to film or stage (Monty Python), but being a comedian doesn't take brains. Just ask the slew of them who have died in massive overdoses of cocaine and food. Not a braniac way to go. So Senior Cleese, here are MWB responses to your Declaration of Revocation. 1: British people either sound like they have their heads up the Queen's ass or completely illiterate. Why on earth would anyone want to pronounce words the way they do. So fuck off. 2: When you get your heads out of your queen's ass (see #1), you'll realize (yes, it's realizzzze, -not- realisssse) there IS such a thing as American spelling. You're just jealous the top billionaires (like the guy who runs Microsoft) are American. So fuck off. 3: Why bother? See #2; we own this world. So fuck off. 4: See #3. 5: Why would we sing to a lady who has an entire population up her ass? (See #1). So FUCK OFF! 6: As part of the result of #3, we play whatever the fuck we want. SO FUCK OFF. 7: Besides our brains, how is it you think we own this world? With our guns pointed at your stuck up faces which are up your queen's ass. Any questions before you fuck off? 8: What the hell are you talking about? 9: Can you spell "V-I-P-E-R"? Can you spell "C-O-R-V-E-T-T-E"? Has anyone ever heard of a goddamn Citron? NO? Who owns your sorry ass car companies? The Krauts?! 10: We can call them what we want. See #3. 11: Are you smoking that bad Spanish weed again? Get yourself some American ganja, go read iganja.com, and clear your thinking up. 12: Are you jealous again? We make and sell more beer than drunken English could drink in a century. 13: I repeat, see #3. We own this world, we conquer oil-bearing territories. We pay less, you pay more. See? It's simple. so FUCK OFF! 14: Stop moving while I take a shot at you. 15: That's because you are obsessive compulsive, anal-retentive whackjobs. Let it go already, or fuck off. 16: Why, so our economy can suck as much as yours? Or is it so we can get equally bad dental care? I don’t know if you've noticed, but most Americans have all their teeth, and they're straight. You really should get a tax refund just for all your botched dental work alone. SO FUCK OFF!

Read all about it Marla gives us the Fabulous Quote of the Day...and she's spot on too! The termites had enough sense (and brains) to go to higher ground on Katrina contact. But not those looters! Not those dumb asses at the convention center! But dem termites, hoooo dawggie, not only did they survive, they're done BACK, and a fortnight sooner than mosta dem hu-mans, too! Uh, the termites were so smart, I'm a little scared, maybe....

Welcome to the new MWB category, the photographs of the Roving Photojournalist. Our first winner? This fucking loser who put TUKUL4U on his license plate. Seen at an LA Fitness gym near you...he's the guy with no neck, steroid bumps on his overly bulging biceps, and who's grunting at the hot smoothie chick for a protein-infused slushie (add extra raw eggs...rr rr ah ah )at the smoothie bar. The coup de gras? His tags are expired! How much of a loser do you have to be to have expired tags on a HONDA! It costs what, 12 cents to register those rice mobiles?

Read all about it After all, it's cleaner than where you put your mouth on a typical day (nooOOOO, I'm not talking about THAT you dirty-minded little bastards). We're talking about your office telephone. So next time you see Michela vigorously dousing her phones with alcohol, your snide comments will glide right off her bacteria free ear lobes. Yours, on the other hand, Mr. Fruity, are a teeming pool of disgusting germs and don't even think you'll ever use my phone ever again! And while you're at it, keep your mits off my keyboard, too.

Read all about it Thanks for the, eh-hem, gem, Marla... So you all thought the homosexual references to Judy Garland were just stereotypes, overblown (another eh-hem), and deprecating. Welllll, think again. The cowboy shirts used in Brokeback Mountain are fetching a whoppin' 100 grand at an auction, and the purchaser justifies it with the comment that they are "the ruby slippers of our time." You go on wich yo' bad self boyfriend! So long as you know that wearing the ruby slippers and the cowboy shirt together would be a fashion faux pas from which even fellow flaming fashionista Karl Lagerfeld wouldn't recover in five flaming lifetimes.

...cartoon protesters in 2006? If there were cameras during the witch hunts of 1692, we might have seen an image something like this... except instead of white sheeted heads reminiscent of that tolerant organization, the klu klux klan, we would see the marchers wearing these... Other than the headgear, I see no difference between the unthinking freak show religious zealots and their paranoia over witches and cartoons. Oh, yeah, there is the small matter that the puritan zealots lived a short 300 YEARS ago! Why leftists don't mock them the way they mock Christians just boggles my feeble little mind (you know, the same one who didn't catch the sunset shot of the sailboats...)

Go listen This might be the funniest thing since Learn to Dance like a White Man. And yes, David sent me this. I meant to credit at posting but I forgot. I am at work (that's what they tell me this nice place wehre I surf the net and read emails is).

I have only one question regarding the ports being sold to a United Arab Emirates-owned corporation: WTF IS BUSH THINKING?

Frenchie brings us a good one...but you'll have to pardon the pun... dem (as in them) and dem (as in severely and democratically impaired) Kennedys can't escape their dark pasts, and does make laughably the criticism of Cheney when compared to another famous politico's fiascos (or as Dan Quayle woulda corrected me; 'fiascoes').

Go see all about it The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is O-U-T and it is H-O-T, of course. All I wanna know is from where these freak o' nature chicks get these bods. These are real women...those stick figure, cigarrette-fed runway are not real women. They're starved drones. But these SI swimsuit models, aye yay yay. Yaow!