Welcome to the new MWB category, the photographs of the Roving Photojournalist. Our first winner? This fucking loser who put TUKUL4U on his license plate. Seen at an LA Fitness gym near you...he's the guy with no neck, steroid bumps on his overly bulging biceps, and who's grunting at the hot smoothie chick for a protein-infused slushie (add extra raw eggs...rr rr ah ah )at the smoothie bar. The coup de gras? His tags are expired! How much of a loser do you have to be to have expired tags on a HONDA! It costs what, 12 cents to register those rice mobiles?

Read all about it After all, it's cleaner than where you put your mouth on a typical day (nooOOOO, I'm not talking about THAT you dirty-minded little bastards). We're talking about your office telephone. So next time you see Michela vigorously dousing her phones with alcohol, your snide comments will glide right off her bacteria free ear lobes. Yours, on the other hand, Mr. Fruity, are a teeming pool of disgusting germs and don't even think you'll ever use my phone ever again! And while you're at it, keep your mits off my keyboard, too.

Read all about it Thanks for the, eh-hem, gem, Marla... So you all thought the homosexual references to Judy Garland were just stereotypes, overblown (another eh-hem), and deprecating. Welllll, think again. The cowboy shirts used in Brokeback Mountain are fetching a whoppin' 100 grand at an auction, and the purchaser justifies it with the comment that they are "the ruby slippers of our time." You go on wich yo' bad self boyfriend! So long as you know that wearing the ruby slippers and the cowboy shirt together would be a fashion faux pas from which even fellow flaming fashionista Karl Lagerfeld wouldn't recover in five flaming lifetimes.

...cartoon protesters in 2006? If there were cameras during the witch hunts of 1692, we might have seen an image something like this... except instead of white sheeted heads reminiscent of that tolerant organization, the klu klux klan, we would see the marchers wearing these... Other than the headgear, I see no difference between the unthinking freak show religious zealots and their paranoia over witches and cartoons. Oh, yeah, there is the small matter that the puritan zealots lived a short 300 YEARS ago! Why leftists don't mock them the way they mock Christians just boggles my feeble little mind (you know, the same one who didn't catch the sunset shot of the sailboats...)

Go listen This might be the funniest thing since Learn to Dance like a White Man. And yes, David sent me this. I meant to credit at posting but I forgot. I am at work (that's what they tell me this nice place wehre I surf the net and read emails is).

I have only one question regarding the ports being sold to a United Arab Emirates-owned corporation: WTF IS BUSH THINKING?

Frenchie brings us a good one...but you'll have to pardon the pun... dem (as in them) and dem (as in severely and democratically impaired) Kennedys can't escape their dark pasts, and does make laughably the criticism of Cheney when compared to another famous politico's fiascos (or as Dan Quayle woulda corrected me; 'fiascoes').

Go see all about it The Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue is O-U-T and it is H-O-T, of course. All I wanna know is from where these freak o' nature chicks get these bods. These are real women...those stick figure, cigarrette-fed runway are not real women. They're starved drones. But these SI swimsuit models, aye yay yay. Yaow!

What a beeeyoooteeefulllll day in SoCali. You can thank my dive buddies in San Diego for this fantabulous shot, taken recently on an early morning dive near La Jolla. Without argument, LJ is one of the most beautiful places on this earth with some of the best restaurants I've eaten at on this planet (yes, that's you George's at the Cove and Trattoria Acqua).

The traffic control for Mighty Ducks hockey games, as administered by the Anaheim Police Department, is just about the least efficient cluster fuck you have ever seen this side of Boston's Big Dig. The design is the embodiment of they-couldn't-make-it-worse-if-they-tried. But then again, what would you expect from city government employees. And oy vay, I should be careful not to utter such words, as the Anaheim PD Traffic Management Supervisor II (just a guess at the title of the lowly clerk who implemented this scheme) might take them as fightin' words. The diabolical Traffic Management Supervisor II wrings his hands in his dusty cubicle in the sub-basement records storage area.
"I know! Instead of blocking all lanes in one direction, I'll block them all! Hahahahaaaaaa! That'll show those meddling redheads just who they're messing with! Hahahaha!"
With the pound of the spinning date rubber stamp on the Canary=Bureaucratic Paperwork Bin and a scrawl of the illegible supervisor signature on the White=Bureaucratic File Cabinet, his terrible scheme was put into motion. While his cackle could be heard for miles, everyone thought it was just a crow in the final throes of West Nile Virus. Little did Mighty Ducks fans know the traffic nightmare that was lying in store for them in the next home game...