Read all about it This is the third Sopranos actor to be in some serious trouble. The first was Robert Iler, the actor who plays Tony Soprano's son. He and his real-life friends decided to rob somebody in real-life like a FantasyLand Soprano. Vincent Pastore, the Sopranos ratfink Big Pussy Bumpensiero, beat his girlfriend to a pulp on the freeway then threw her out of the car. And alas, we have escalated to the final scene, murder. Lillo Brancato Jr. is the Sopranos actor who concocted a scheme to murder Tony's nephew Christopher and finds himself murdered instead. He was inovlved in a robbery which left an off-duty cop dead. He, like his TV character and the scheme that went awry, was shot during this ill-fated burglary and, while not dead, is in serious condition. It makes sense I 'spose, when looking for character actors, what better way to get the street thug character than to use, well, a street thug.

Read all about the Orange Line Crashes Read all about the Deadly MLK Hospital That's enough bathroom reading for a food poisoned bulemic. But the short story is that the Orange Line buses in Los Angeles crash a lot, and the Martin Luther King Hospital in Los Angeles kills a lot of people. Los Angeles talk show host Bill Handel, after the latest Orange Line crash, says: "It's the new Arab curse...'May you go on the Orange Line and be taken to Martin Luther King Hospital when you crash!' " Oh man, you gotta be familiar with both situations to just roll on the floor with a sideache.

Go see all about it Fellow software geek and blogger of the universe, Paul English, provides you with a way to bypass those ever-so-annoying computers who answer your calls with his "IVR Cheat Sheet." One of my favorite irritants are the new voice activated responses. "Press or say 1" the nice computer voice says. I hit 1. "I'm sorry, we did not understand your response." I hit 1 again. "I'm sorry, we did not understand your response. Please enter a valid response." I loudly say "ONE" as everyone in the store stares. "I'm sorry, we did not receive your entry in a timely manner. Please call again later." CLICK. It turns out if you have background noise, it goes into recognizing what you say. But whether you say or hit 1, it can't understand you. Screw you CITIBANK! Anyway, he runs down the list of these and other annoying computer phone responses, and how to get to an operator, including bizarre key combinations like #-1-4-4. Oh this guy is a saint.

Marla's got us on our toes today...
Read all about it You're the guys wife. He's bipolar. He's not taking his meds. LET's GO ON A PLANE TRIP! Aw shucks, it's not that long of a flight anyway...

Read all about it Marla reminds us that today marks the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor, a date most people don't, in fact, remember. Perhaps our easily forgotten history is why so many of us stand willing to forget that we were totally blameless on the morning of 9/11/01. Oh yes, evil people have their reasons. Yep. Emperor Hirohito had his reasons for Pearl Harbor and subsequently torturing and starving thousands of prisoners of war to death; Hawaii. Stalin had his reasons for murdering 10,000,000 people; as they starved to death in inefficient communist farms, they might revolt against him. Hitler had his reasons for murdering 6,000,000; the Jewish human beings he tortured to death were mere rats that needed to be exterminated. Pol Pot had his reasons for murdering 3,000,000 of Cambodia's best and brightest, and most helpless; a totalitarian communist society needed to be put in place. And Mohammad Atta, and his 18 fellow murderers, yep, they had their reasons for the murder of 3,500 innocent lives on 9/11/01. A political statement. A stance against the United States. All maniacal despots have their reasons. Well we have a stance, too. And we, too, have reasons. And 9/11/01 is the reason for that Patriot missile floating right up the Taliban asses. I hate war. But the Hirohitos, Stalins, Hitlers, Pots, and Attas cannot be loosened upon us without a fight. Remember Pearl Harbor today.

Read all about it Just when you thought your sex life was as bad as it gets, Updike gives you a sex scene that will definitely not give you an up-dick: "...arranging her legs in an M of receptivity, and he knelt between them like the most abject and craven supplicant who ever exposed his bare ass to the eagle eyes of a bunch of crows." An "M" of "receptivity"? WTF? "Abject and craven supplicant"? WTF? I can only imagine the frigid, nightmarish scene of copulation this might have been, were these real people. And then there's Marlon Brando's version of sultry sex: "She could not answer. It is the one drawback of fellatio as conscientious as hers that it eliminates the chance for small talk and poetry alike." The "one" drawback of oral sex is no small talk or poetic readings? WTF? Welcome to Guardian Unlimited Books' Bad Sex in Fiction Awards . Let's just say MWB read them all, and couldn't find any reason to argue one of the 'winners' off this list. Read away...and don't worry about reading in a public place. You won't get a noticable woody from these gems.

Read all about it I just can't say it enough; boys chop doll heads off, girls put bandaids on their headless bodys and cover them with blankets to keep 'em warm. Why do we keep thinking or trying to prove men/women think differently. Even liberal government-funded studies prove it. And if seeing a naked guy stripping vs. a naked girl stripping doesn't just seal that fact for ya', well, you're probably a Scientologist and you can't be helped anyway.

Who are these people who insist on using their windshield wiper fluid while they are driving. I realize their cars are so filthy they must use windshield wiper fluid in lieu of a good cleaning (remember folks, we live in SoCali where there has been no rain for months). But while driving? What, you didn't know your windshield was filthy before you pulled out of the driveway? You think since your car is so filthy that the rest of us must have filthy cars too, and therefore do not care that you just spewed Windex all over our cars? 'Scuse me?

Everyone who has any idea who on earth Dr. Laura is and what she stands for has an opinion about her. You either worship her as a lone apostle standing against the self-centered evil of the do-what-you-want-if-it-feels-good society, or you despise her as an artifact of antiquity looking to keep homosexuals and women under the boot of white male patriarchal oppression. On whichever side you fall, it'd be nice if you could pull your opinions out of the black or white side of all your issues and see her for what she is; a person who fights for the good of kids (how terrible), and on occasion, can really offer a major bit of assistance to people in pain. Here is a transcript of a call that just about made me sob: Caller: Dr Laura:

Big BIG kissaroo to Nike Nike is still making petite workout clothes, even though so many Americans neither work out nor buy workout clothes to use in an actual workout. The "Small" in the Addidas line is only a small on a fat farm by our estimate. Thank you Nike for keeping us svelte little creatures on your radar; we buy everything you're shipping tp our local super sleek Nike store.