This big, botox-deep frown line goes out to all makers of all mobile telephones in the United States of America. The manufacturers are ignoring and continuing an evile design flaw which has surely destroyed lives. Yes, lives! That flaw is...! It is that in non-flip phones, "locking" the keys doesn't mean the keys are "locked." The phone can still be accidentally answered by the unwitting holder of the phone. It's evile! Consider a recent Dr. Laura phone call... the woman called to tell Dr. L that she had overheard her husband on a date with another woman. Worse, he complaining about his wife (her!) to this woman! Dr. Laura was quite puzzled. "How did you hear this?" The woman explained that she simply called her husband, and the phone answered (even though he did not say "hello?") and the line was held open for the entire date while the angry Mrs. listened. Dr. L just didn't understand how this could have been and only barely seemed to believe what the woman said but finally took it at face value. Ahh, MWB understands what happened. The keys were "locked." The phone was in his pocket, probably on silent. He probably shifted one millimeter to pick up his salad fork and voila! The phone answered! And NOW the goddamn cell phones keys are locked and so it doesn't disconnect, and his wife can hear everything. So I say, to hell will go the cell phone designers who allow this to continue. So I say, buyer beware! Especially those up to some nefarious behaviors... your cell phone in your briefcase, pocket, purse, or car can shift while it's ringing with keys locked and answer itself. Demand change! Call your provider!

Read all about it Baby Brett Affleck brings us an article and shame on FoxNews.com for not carrying this, but it does go to show that CNN doesn't have the lock and stock on leftwing whacknut leanings. A massacre in Walmart was averted by a legally purchased, registered, and concealed weapon carried by a law-abiding citizen. This man should get Man of the Year. This should have been BIG news. I guess the leftwing whacknuts only care when many children are murdered (it keeps the population down and serves their goal of eliminating humans from their prized planet earth).

Okay MWB Mistress of the Blogworld Michela cannot avoid another small commentary on the hurricane. The leftists have peeled themselves off their grimy, tacky wallpapered walls (paint is bad for the environment) from every corner of their narrow-minded little worlds to blame this hurricane on the "global warming" (you mean, the current weather conditions?). They have said made back-handed comments that the USA "deserved" this for not signing Kyoto, or that it was due to that grand karmic equalizer in the sky, for not having signed Kyoto. Simpletons of the world, read on. "Global warming", the way you describe it, is faaaaaaaaarrr from a settled scientific fact. Here are the disputes: 1. One volcanic eruption spews more carbon gases into the atmosphere than 10,000,000 SUVs if they drove for 10,000 years. So the current "global warming" is far more likely to have been caused by volcanic activity than mere little humans in the US of A. 2. The most generous estimates of Kyoto say that if all meaasures were taken, the earth's temperature average will be reduced by 2 degrees. I saw the March of the Penguins. Does anyone think that those poor little penguins couldn't use a degree or two shaved off to ease their suffering? Hmmm? -80 to -70, even, would be quite nice for those little penguin guys and gals. Not thinkin', though, that -80 to -78 will much help. 3. Then, there's the fact that Kyoto lets third world cesspool nations spew as much shit into the air as they want. So, what is little ol' US of A supposed to do to counter all that damage? Hmm? 4. Lets go back a millenia or so, when they could farm on Greenland. So, what American SUV caused THAT global warming. Hmm? What about the flood of Noah's day. Hmmm? Fuck all you pinko shitbags who would use this horrible incident, or the tsunami, or any other perfectly natural disaster to assert your political gain. When the Repubs blamed gays and monkey bonkers for bringing HIV to the human race, they were less far off than left wing whackjobs saying that Tailand deserveed a tsunami to clear out the hotels which were wrecking the pristine land.

--Package engineering buffoons who make the packages of anything that gets sealed into a plastic box impossible to open without multiple sets of tools. I shudder for the day when I am too old to apply 600 pounds of force to get those packages open. --A huge, wrinkly, botox-bound frown line to hair stylists who cannot cut a straight line. I know I have fairly wavy (to curly) hair, but it does comb straight when wet. So why can't crackheads who just do that---cut hair all day, day in, day out, 5 to 6 days a week---why can't they cut my hair into a straight line. There has only been one hair stylist in the history of the universe who has been able to achieve this simple goal. He's so wonderful and I miss him so much (I moved 100 miles away and I'm still tempted to drive there for a hair cut!). Here is his number if you are in San Diego, go see Edward. The best hair cutter ever born. Edward at Salon Tonic, downtown San Diego:(619) 232-3721

Everyone is emailing me (the myriad of MWB fans) about the hurricane; why am I not blogging about it; what about the potshots being taken at rescue workers. Sorry fans, MWB is going to be a respite from that horror, save for the humorous pic of the Voodoo store awning sitting on the ground. News outlets such as FoxNews.com, CNN.com, Reuters.com, MSNBC.com, ABCNews.com can do a far better job. RE: The shootings. I say, shoot back. With bigger guns. We don't hold back with the can of Raid when we see a cockroach, why hold back here. People need rescuing and so eliminate the cockroaches preventing that. It's simple.

One of the hardest things to find is very cool home office furniture. The good desks are usually either these powder coated steel cubicle reject looking things, or something from the latest over-priced Ethan Allen "Goombah Gaudy" Collection, worthy of Carmelo Soprano's dining room. To the rescue? Plummers Home Furnishings, a fairly decent collection of german cool with the posh of a New York City loft. But even better and with a much larger selection is a catalogue company, Topdeq. Visit both: www.plummers.com www.Topdeq.com

Marla brings us Fucking...Fucking, Austria that is... Read all about it "Just this morning I had to tell an English lady who stopped by that there were no F---ing postcards." Quote by a local guide in Fucking, Austria (pronounced "Fooking", you puritanical but dirty-minded Yanks).

Since the ruby slippers were stolen, we were reminded of our generation's link to the past, courtesy of Pink Floyd, one fo the best rock-n-roll bands in history and Wizard of Oz, one fo the best acid trips of all time. If you play the movie The Wizard of Oz and mute the sound, and simultaneously play Pink Floyd's Dark side of the Moon, the album's songs and lyrics match, moment to moment, what is taking place in the movie, from beginning to end. This only works when you play the original vinyl album (as, we are told, cd's have a delay between tracks which do not exist on the album). It all starts with the third lions roar... Courtesy of http://www.geocities.com/freebird73717/PINKFLOYD_DARKSIDE_WIZARD_OF_OZ.html

Read the list of synchronicities1. The lyric “Balanced on the biggest wave” coincides with Dorothy’s balancing act on the fence 2. On the Run” starts as Dorothy falls off the fence 3. Chimes and Bells start ringing as the Wicked Witch appears riding her bicycle. 4. During the “Time” guitar solo, the fortune teller’s sign is shown with the words "Past Present and Future." 5. The tornado is shown in the background as the words “I am not frightened of dying” are sung. 6. The drums start right as the wind really picks up and blows the trees from their roots. 7. The singer calms down as Dorothy is knocked unconscious by the window 8. “Great Gig in the Sky” is still playing as the house flies in the tornado 9. Side 1 of the album is exactly as long as the black & white portion of the film. 10. The cash register in Money is heard right as color is seen in Oz (money = color) 11. The ballerinas enter on “Us, us, us, us.” One ballerina seems to lip-sync “ordinary men” 12. Three men enter on “Me, me, me” 13. One kid’s jerking motions are in sync with the music 14. “Forward he cried” is sung as Dorothy turns to face forward 15. The Wicked Witch appears on “Black, black” On “Blue, blue, blue,” the camera switches to Dorothy (in her blue dress) 16. “And who knows which is which and who is who” is sung when the Good Witch looks at the recently killed Wicked Witch. 17. The play on words "which is which" vs. "Witch is Witch" 18. The Witch goes up on the platform for “Up, up” and then walks down on “Down, down, down” 19. As “And in the End” is sung, the Wicked Witch disappears On “Out, out, out,” & the Good Witch of the North leaves 20. “Brain Damage” plays as Scarecrow sings “If I Only Had a Brain” 21. Heartbeat heard at the end of the album is heard as Dorothy listens at the Tin Man’s chest

--Hondas, any model, any make, any engine size. You, YOU right there in that gd underpowered Honda POS, get out of the f-ing fast lane before I drive my German tank up your Japanese arse! --Fubars who are entering the first millenium 1,000 years late, and are starting to use their debit or credit cards at the grocery store instead of writing a check. You get 100 points for migrating from the ridiculous ritual of writing checks (which includes the cursive dollar amount and showing a driver's license, whose data must then be transferred to the face of the check, as IF that makes the check not bounce). But you get -1,000,000 points for squinting and staring at the card terminal and having to ask every step of the way which F-ING button is the correct next button in the sequence. Just have your groceries delivered.

Michela once again thanks PT Cruiser for this one: