Watching Cruise lead a very impressionable, maleable, and rather dumb female down the dark path of Scientology makes me kinda queasy. That he is walking around telling everyone he knows--in absolutes--what's right and wrong and that we're all just living in a delusional fog, well, by golly, that earns Mr. Cruise a place on MediaWatchblog’s Movie Star Pig Fucker Hall of Lame. Read all about it Tom Cruise "tangles" with Matt Lauer on the Today show, if you call Lauer's pansy responses entangling or tough. While we give Lauer credit for even hitting on the Brooke Shields / Cruise pissing fight (instigated by Cruise), but he didn't nail him to the wall in spite of the heroic headlines Lauer is getting today. Check out Lauer’s gag-me-with-a-pitchfork gush after Cruise basically called Lauer a fool: At one point Cruise told Lauer, "You're glib" and said Lauer didn't know what he was talking about. The star launched into a detailed discussion of the use of the prescription drug Ritalin...."It's very impressive to listen to you," Lauer replied, "because clearly, you've done the homework. And you know the subject." Where are the hip waders dude! It's crotch deep in here! Here's what the Today interview looks like with MWB on the job: "So, you say you know the history of psychiatry, and that is why you call into question the entire field today. Do you understand the history of surgery, when they were using leeches and hot jars to cure people? If so, how do you reconcile visiting a doctor with a broken arm but not a broken spirit?" "You say you don't talk about things you don't understand. Then can you explain how serotonin re-uptake inhibitors, which prevent re-uptake of serotonin and thus increase the concentration of serotonin at the neural synapse, is not an effective method of increasing or stabilizing serotonin levels (a crucial component of one's overall mood) but paying Scientology a bunch of money does? What is that mechanism on the neural pathways, exactly?" I'd also ask Mr. Cruise, Knower of All things, doesn't Scientology demand that women not utter a single sound during childbirth even without pain medication, and that should they fail to do so, they have destroyed their children forever? Isn't this a bit medieval and cruel, and isn't this another sexist pig way for men to blame all the shortcomings of the children on the mother? I’d ask him, do you remember Andrea Yates? Not only did her cessation of medication cause her to plummet into a darkness and pit of mental hell Cruise could never understand, she was being given videos of a Christian freakshow dressed in a Satan outfit telling mothers they can irreparably serve their children up to the devil if they are "Bad." Funny how freakshow MEN hiding behind the cloak of rightousnous and religion always get to determine just what "Bad" women are. Isn't it, Mr. Cruise? Don't you find that an odd coincidence, Mr. Cruise? From the Christians to the Taliban to the Scientologists and back, the men get to decide what bad women are, get to take the self-righteous moral high ground, and women, at least those who can think straight, can thank jesus for giving them freedom in these United States. And for that, we give the big fat bird to movie star p-fers and everyone like them.

Big BIG kiss to Oreck Vacuums It's a sad state of affairs, but even the MWB team's fabulous city flats and palatial moutain hideaways get a little dusty hither and thither. Fortunately, our servants can get it all cleaned up with this fabulous, powerful, and lightweight Oreck vacuum. If you visit the Oreck site, the deals are fabulous; you can buy the vacuum and bill it in super-cheap monthly installments to your own credit card. Honey, this is free money. Your maid gets the place uber-shipshape, and you don't even have to pay for it up front, and no interest (we know $40 is a rounding error in your checkbook so you won't even miss it). You also get to pick a really nice freebie, which MWB also loves. And Marla says, god forbid, if the maid doesn't show and you're forced to do the vacuuming yourself, it's not that bad with the Oreck. You won't hurt the mani, pedi, or paraffin wax softness.

Read all about it With all the jubilation over the rescued Utah boy scout, his bizarre behavior and actions during the rescue are being gloseed over. His mother says: He had two thoughts going through his head all the time... Toby [his father] always told him that 'If you get lost, stay on the trail.' So he stayed on the trail. We've also told him don't talk to strangers ... when an ATV or horse came by he got off the trail ... when they left, he got back on the trail. Lost for four days, desperately in need of help, he doesn't have the sense to reach out to the rescuers he encounters on the trail. Worse, he is consciously hiding from them, having been taught not to talk to strangers. That he doesn't have enough sense to distinguish between a rescuer who is looking for him in the wilderness and a stranger who will snatch him from the streets of Provo forever, at 11 years old, is totally perplexing. Rewind a few years to another triumphant return, that of Elizabeth Smart. Her reticence to flee her kidnappers, even where it appears she had opportunity to do so, was ascribed to Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe it's whacko Utah kid syndrome... there must be some sort of brainwashing, or Mormon lock-step groupthink, that made these kids completely incapable of dealing with grave circumstances. Neither child showed one scintilla of common sense during their ordeals, which were horrifying. God rest her blessed soul...5 year-old Samantha Runion spoke clearly to her friend "go get my nana!" when grabbed by the monster would kill her; that clear instruction (which her friend followed) resulted in the capture of the vile creature. She kicked, screamed, and fought to the end. Perhaps it's my bias, but to have two kids from Utah who simply melted into their truly dire predicaments with nary a peep is more than coincidence.

Read all about it Or between a vote for Bush and Gag me with a Gore-bee. How can you possibly expect those yet-to-be-identified Martians could discern the difference between pro and amateur photography? The funniest business travel stories I have are all my interactions with retarded Floridians. Funny now, that is; not funny at 12 a.m. when trying to get a rental car and sleep before an 8 a.m. meeting, which is 5 a.m. on the California clock. It was those trips that made me fully understand the voting "controversy" and why they felt so justified in defending their inability to distinguish one hole from another (that's another post entirely...squeal little piggie, squeal!). Whenever I went to the hotel, the car rental counter, or the airline counter, it was always the same... "Last name please." My name is one of those Irish deals with an O and an apostrophe; the next letter is a D, as in "O'Dxxx" 10 times out of 11; "O- whut?" I spell it. "We dont' have no D's... here. D whut?" I spell it again. "Is it D somthin, or O somthin'? " I always asked said counter person, "Did I land in Jacksonville, Florida or is this Mobile, Alabama? Juss checkin'..." Therefore my MWB friends, it's no surprise the example of the retarded Martian photo lab employee who cannot tell the difference between a pro photog and an amateur is, frankly, no shock.

Read all about it Every single one of these guys is hot hot hot, but more in the way a cast iron skillet on a hot stove is hot; all on the surface but eew! Don't wanna touch it! As good as all these guys look on the surface, they all have that certain je ne sais quoi... that I'm-a-slimy-gay-pornstar look.

Read all about it This story was written to talk about how eBay had to end the auctions of Live 8 tickets--given away originally for free--due to hoax bids of up to 10 million pounds. What it's really about is a man, Bob Geldof, who's family has been totally destroyed by family courts. Courts where the government all the cards and you are but a recipient of the slap of its heavy hand, should it so decide... But he is more than willing to keep a strong government presence in the lives of everyone else, as long as that big government is run liberally, as he has so decided. What a fool you are Geldof, what a fool you are.

This was never meant to be a techie forum, this is a bitch session that happens to offer some techie advice... FREE! Whenever I adjusted the volume in my Windows Volume Control, it made this obnoxious beep. It made this beep even if the sound on Volume Control was muted, and even when my sound schemes were set to "No Sounds" ... I destroyed my computer, literally, by disabling something that referred to "Volume" but was really to manage the storage volume... you know, the hard drive? OOPS. I forget if it was a deleted registry entry or a disabled service (gobbledeygook, I know), but regardless, it said "Volume" and I got rid of it after hours of trying to eliminate whatever was causing that really annoying and really LOUD beep, and my computer choked up its left lung and died. Thank you jesus for my obsessive habit of backing up my PC; rebuilt and restored data within 2 hours, no headaches, but the BEEP was back! I started feel like the beep was a little chucky doll I could not kill... I finally found some uber obscure reference to the beep posted a forum over 2 years ago, and it turns out it is a Non Plug-n-Play device driver and I won't go on. Here's a link to the forum if you need help getting rid of Chucky Beep...                                         >Go to Forum< You gotta love geeks; they talk about this stuff for fun, and the rest of us get to have the answers by default. And I love what the poster on the forum says: "The MS tech support flunky who said it was a motherboard problem should be boiled in oil for such a blatant lie." And whoever built this "feature" in the first place deserves an equally horrid fate. Why is disabling this beep buried three layers deep in system configurations and who would ever want it in the first place? Does NO SOUNDS mean NO SOUNDS EXCEPT THE LOUD AND OBNOXIOUS BEEP WHEN YOU AJDUST THE VOLUME to Microsoft bitheads? Apple whackjobs need not post comments, we won't go to your grasseating ways no matter what you say.

Read all about it I don't often excerpt the articles but I'm thinking some CNN editor is going to peel his lips off the crack pipe and remove the lead in to this story... ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Reuters) -- Mountaineers who ascend North America's loftiest peak are often brought down to earth by "virus-laden poo" left behind by previous climbers, a medical report says.
Another reason not to go anywhere; forget the grand canyon. Forget Indonesia. Just stay the f home.

Read all about it Yahoo and Google are both racing to provide password protected content to users as long as they're a subscriber (for now, right?). These sights start with the nice Consumer Reports magazine online, but soon to include sites such as Lexus Nexus. Lexus Nexus is a ginormous databank with highly confidential data on every single person born in a hospital in the 2nd and 1st worlds. If you think I'm kidding, read this: http://msnbc.msn.com/id/7913667/

Read all about it I have been unable to finish my earnest effort to convince you the Patriot Act should not be accepted blindly in its entirety. In the interim, Marla asks you to ponder which period in antiquity this prehistoric freakshow came from and should be sent back to. Thank god he's no genius...