-Why do people exit elevators, escalators, stairwells, planes--and all other places where human throughput is critical--stop 4 millimeters over the threshold while everyone behind them piles up while they gaze around like a stoner waking up from a long sleep? -When will restaurants realize those cool lights they hang low over the tables are a visual obstacle worthy of my darkest sunglasses? -Why do women with a huge belly wear pants that stop below the belly button and tops that start at the rib cage, subjecting the rest of us to a dollop of blubber only a 3 month old baby should have? -How is it we can create freeways where people can drive 80 miles an hour safely (don't tell me it's not) but we can't figure out a way to control traffic and speed in parking lots without large concrete obstacles that do not slow down SUVs at all and damage everyone else's car outright?

Read all about it A young Australian woman was convicted of drug traffiking in Indonesia and sentenced to decades in Indonesian prison. I'd tender a bet that her chances for justice in Indonesia were worse than my chances in California family court as an employed person against a troll who lives under a bridge (oh, wait, that's uh, a different post). Usually you hear these stories and you slough it off a bit and say, jeezus, what were they thinking trying to bring porn into Saudi Arabia; of course they were going to get their hands chopped off! But I believe this woman was framed by the baggage handlers, and it makes my stomach turn to think of being in prison under these circumstances. I realize this was front page news 2 weeks ago but I would like everyone not to forget the plight of this woman. And big cheers to the Australians who rightly questioned why they were ever so charitable to those ungrateful psychos after the Tsunami. Not a one of them changed their opinion of the mighty United States in spite of the billions we contributed. You can keep updated on her status by going to the following web page: www.freeschapelle.com

Read all about it I find it interesting that a liberal news outlet such as ABC News would point such a level finger at another country's justice system, even if that other country is China. I'm sure China's injustices are numerous, but the example in this story is hardly more egregious than anything the US has ever done. The US has convicted and jailed for decades hundreds of people based on flimsy eyewitness testimony, faulty evidence, and a myriad of other injustices. China's civil rights violations go far beyond the wrongfully convicted; they are sweeps of protesters exerting what we would call 1st Amendment rights; they are imprisonments of journalists and other free thinkers who dare to challenge the Chines Communist Manifesto, the forced abortions on women to meet a one-child limit. That is what ABC News should highlight. There's little difference between the US and the story in this article, and a huge difference between the US and China's civil rights violations. Any time you must place your life in the hands of the government, it's flip of a coin on whether or not you will receive fair justice.

A new Eye Shadow: Kiss to Revlon The MWB team has found an absolutely fabulous new (and cheap) eye shadow; Revlon's EyeGlide Shimmer Shadow. It can be used as lipstick or eyeshadow, which is handy for your tiny beaded evening bag. As eyeshadow, it has the very nice effect of making your eyes look a little sparkly. On lips, lipliner is a must. It goes on easily in a rear view mirror while driving, but Team MWB recommends you wait for the red light in spite of this convenience.

Read all about it Aye yay yay Lucy, you'f bin teengkeeng ah-gen! These words ring more true every day; the way Lucy walked through life and thought about things was a lot different than Ricky. What a shock. SHOCK! As far as I'm concerned the women who attended the conference where Harvard President Dr. Sumners dared to even mention these diferences should have slapped that bitch who walked out on him im a big huff. As a woman, that's how I think.

Read all about it A mother's son is killed on an ATV, and she is demanding all these government interferences? How about we demand that you have a triple digit IQ before you have kids? Get real; how could you look at your 10 year-old child on a full-size ATV and think, ya, that's safe. These people, people who cannot think for themselves, create a landmine of laws and regulations which ultimately don't save anyone from themselves. This lady was just as likely to have let her kid jump off a two-story building into a pool, then sued the pool builder and demanded tougher regulations. Gimme a nanny-break!

Read all about it This is a long article, and I'll nutshell it for you because we know you're busy. Actually, the first line of this article nutshells this for us better than MWB can, and as our fans, you know we give you some good nutshells: If the European Union were a state in the USA it would belong to the poorest group of states. How about that. The Krauts, the Frogs, the Boots, and the Brits are church mice compared to the US as a whole, and can only measure up to the banjo players in Mississippi and West Virginia in GDP (if you don't know what gross domestic product is, you're not smart enough to read MWB). It doesn't stop there, my village-loving little liberal monkeys. Swedes, and others living in Scandinavian hovels which thus far were believed to be the models of pure Socialist paradise, live miserly little lives compared to the lap of luxury where most Americans reside. Except, of course, for the banjo players who haven't found a way to make their riches in banjo radio (MWB isn't even sure they have radios in West Virginia...). Ah my little monkeys in their socialist cages are already squawking, I can hear them now..."Have you seen the beggars in San Francisco? Los Angeles? Sweden doesn't have that!" Ah but my little monkeys, if you get your bananas out of your ears for a moment, you'll hear that Sweden does have these parasitic street people, and that they suck the lifeblood of the Swedish economy right out. You'll also hear that we're talking most Americans live better; I wouldn't call homeless beggars in the two most communist cities in America any fraction of the US as a whole. You'd hear, my little monkeys, that teachers in Scandanavian countries will teach you "sack lunch" as one of your first words, since most of them, yes, most these weathly white Socialist saviors up north cannot afford to go out to lunch and nearly everyone packs their lunches. Most teachers can't even afford the rare treat, a pizza, on their salaries of 55,000 US a year (since they end up with 1/2 of that and a pizza is a whopping 60-80, after taxes). Even the common plebes in handout central, France, enjoy a lifestyle not to be seen in Sweet Sweden; cafes, bistros, nice carafes of wine on a Saturday afternoon shopping trip. Our Saab-building Socialist friends drive rent-a-wrecks as well. They can scarecely afford more than one car in a family and they keep it for 15 years. Nobody does that in the US. Yes, we need cars because our decentralized society hasn't connected with public transportaion yet, but also because we don't have to. It is my belief that the socialist ways of life in these countries is at great peril; they must compete with us and our brains powered by a vast educational system and the influx of their commrades who have fled their stifling economies so they can start business (hello, Germany, Sun Microsystems was a big loss, wasn't it). They must also compete with third worlds, who don't have to pay fat cat welfare benefits. Their populations are also dwindling. They only have 1 kid per family, and between that and their emigration, they will collapse under the weight of their own elderly burdens. So much for the savior of socialism; and it proves one thing to us. That whenever you put the welfare of yourself and your future into the hands of the government, it's a toss of the dice whether or not you'll be cared for and have a good life. Better to make the best one you can for yourself, without interference.

Big Big Thumbs Up for Lindt Wafer Bar German chocolatier Lindt makes a fine chocolate, and their Wafer Bar is the best bar ever, bar none. It has unassuming, almost unappetizing name reminisent of mass, doesn't it. Those krazy krauts are meticulous down to their marketing, arent' they. Can't you hear them in the Lindt boardroom; "Eets ah schokolate bahr, und eets got a vafah in zee meedle, vee must kall it a Vafah Bahr.") doesn't begin to describe the heaven-in-a-foil-rectangle that it is. Can only be found consistently at Cost Plus. Thank you Cost Plus; Trader Joe's introduced this slice of chocolate heaven to me then took it away from me. After ordering a pack of them from Lindt themselves, I found it at Cost Plus.

Read all about it At great risk of sounding like a heartless scab, even more than when I call the inhabitants of Mississippi banjo playing rednecks, I'm going to make a commentary on the aid to Tsunami victims. I know this is just one article about one place in the Tsunammi stricken areas, and some good that all that aid provided must exist. But here it is; the unintended consequences of well-intentioned billions of dollars is not serving to educate these ladies, it is funding the incentives to marry them off as very young brides. When there is payment to destitute families for marriage of young girls, what else could possibly be the outcome?

A Cold Cheek to Conair The Conair Ion Shine hair dryer's flip switch is too easily turned off while you try to hold the dryer; it's right where you need to hold the dryer. Very annoying. Costs MWB team at LEAST 2-3 extra minutes each morning and probably endangers our coiffs.