Read all about it This is a long article, and I'll nutshell it for you because we know you're busy. Actually, the first line of this article nutshells this for us better than MWB can, and as our fans, you know we give you some good nutshells: If the European Union were a state in the USA it would belong to the poorest group of states. How about that. The Krauts, the Frogs, the Boots, and the Brits are church mice compared to the US as a whole, and can only measure up to the banjo players in Mississippi and West Virginia in GDP (if you don't know what gross domestic product is, you're not smart enough to read MWB). It doesn't stop there, my village-loving little liberal monkeys. Swedes, and others living in Scandinavian hovels which thus far were believed to be the models of pure Socialist paradise, live miserly little lives compared to the lap of luxury where most Americans reside. Except, of course, for the banjo players who haven't found a way to make their riches in banjo radio (MWB isn't even sure they have radios in West Virginia...). Ah my little monkeys in their socialist cages are already squawking, I can hear them now..."Have you seen the beggars in San Francisco? Los Angeles? Sweden doesn't have that!" Ah but my little monkeys, if you get your bananas out of your ears for a moment, you'll hear that Sweden does have these parasitic street people, and that they suck the lifeblood of the Swedish economy right out. You'll also hear that we're talking most Americans live better; I wouldn't call homeless beggars in the two most communist cities in America any fraction of the US as a whole. You'd hear, my little monkeys, that teachers in Scandanavian countries will teach you "sack lunch" as one of your first words, since most of them, yes, most these weathly white Socialist saviors up north cannot afford to go out to lunch and nearly everyone packs their lunches. Most teachers can't even afford the rare treat, a pizza, on their salaries of 55,000 US a year (since they end up with 1/2 of that and a pizza is a whopping 60-80, after taxes). Even the common plebes in handout central, France, enjoy a lifestyle not to be seen in Sweet Sweden; cafes, bistros, nice carafes of wine on a Saturday afternoon shopping trip. Our Saab-building Socialist friends drive rent-a-wrecks as well. They can scarecely afford more than one car in a family and they keep it for 15 years. Nobody does that in the US. Yes, we need cars because our decentralized society hasn't connected with public transportaion yet, but also because we don't have to. It is my belief that the socialist ways of life in these countries is at great peril; they must compete with us and our brains powered by a vast educational system and the influx of their commrades who have fled their stifling economies so they can start business (hello, Germany, Sun Microsystems was a big loss, wasn't it). They must also compete with third worlds, who don't have to pay fat cat welfare benefits. Their populations are also dwindling. They only have 1 kid per family, and between that and their emigration, they will collapse under the weight of their own elderly burdens. So much for the savior of socialism; and it proves one thing to us. That whenever you put the welfare of yourself and your future into the hands of the government, it's a toss of the dice whether or not you'll be cared for and have a good life. Better to make the best one you can for yourself, without interference.

Big Big Thumbs Up for Lindt Wafer Bar German chocolatier Lindt makes a fine chocolate, and their Wafer Bar is the best bar ever, bar none. It has unassuming, almost unappetizing name reminisent of mass, doesn't it. Those krazy krauts are meticulous down to their marketing, arent' they. Can't you hear them in the Lindt boardroom; "Eets ah schokolate bahr, und eets got a vafah in zee meedle, vee must kall it a Vafah Bahr.") doesn't begin to describe the heaven-in-a-foil-rectangle that it is. Can only be found consistently at Cost Plus. Thank you Cost Plus; Trader Joe's introduced this slice of chocolate heaven to me then took it away from me. After ordering a pack of them from Lindt themselves, I found it at Cost Plus.

Read all about it At great risk of sounding like a heartless scab, even more than when I call the inhabitants of Mississippi banjo playing rednecks, I'm going to make a commentary on the aid to Tsunami victims. I know this is just one article about one place in the Tsunammi stricken areas, and some good that all that aid provided must exist. But here it is; the unintended consequences of well-intentioned billions of dollars is not serving to educate these ladies, it is funding the incentives to marry them off as very young brides. When there is payment to destitute families for marriage of young girls, what else could possibly be the outcome?

A Cold Cheek to Conair The Conair Ion Shine hair dryer's flip switch is too easily turned off while you try to hold the dryer; it's right where you need to hold the dryer. Very annoying. Costs MWB team at LEAST 2-3 extra minutes each morning and probably endangers our coiffs.

If you're looking to do real research on something you want to buy, this isn't the place. Consumer Reports has the lock on that one... however, if you want a quick and dirty a few things the MWB team really likes or hates, you're home. Other efforts at this sort of thing are sites such as ePinions.com, where allegedly random consumers post their opinions of products they have purchased. I'm convinced ePinions is monitored, and actively seeded, by companies and retailers. When something negative is posted about a product, someone posts a drippy Danielle Steele novella response which is obviously utter BS: "After having been quite disappointed in my Verizon phone and unsympathetic customer service, I was desolate; how to find a wireless service who could meet my physical needs for high quality technology, but also bring me the sense of safety and self completely lacking thus far in the unfeeling wireless industry. Alas, I was taking a stroll one Saturday afternoon and I happened upon a Cingular store. Fate? I think not..." With claptrap like that, how can you possibly trust any of the posts on those sites. I've bought a few things based on positive reviews at ePinions, only to find that either my luck was very bad or the ePinion posts were fake bullshit. Since I'm the luckiest person in the world, I'm voting for the latter... Alas, here we are. What has the MWB team of Marla and Michela found to be the best or worst of something. We'll post these occasionally and you can see the complete list by selecting the category, MWB Picks. Tell your friends!

Big Kiss to Gateway for Profile series Small, powerful, it fits nicely on any small desk--as well as any laptop but more powerful. Until Gateway gave us this PC, you had to be an Apple Macintosh Grasseater to get something this small, cool, and powerful in a non-laptop computing machine. The monitor is built-in and high quality. Naysayers... "what if the monitor dies before the computer..." Trust me, you'll want a new PC long before the monitor dies. Besides, MWB is a blog for the party of Rich White Men (so sayeth that genius CHER) so when the monitor dies, just throw it away and buy another one, because you can. Final words: Michela has had a Gateway Profile for 2 years and its performance is still perfect, it's quiet enough to sleep next to it (which we do frequently when having to research liberals), it has tons of USB ports right there at your fingertips (no more getting a thong up the butt trying to plug in a USB stick or camera...!), it's just the best.

Read all about it "Tampla, Fla.--" When Forida is the location of the news story's subject, you can bet it's a grisly event. MWB could create a whole category of "Grisly Florida News" and fill it every single month. Is it the heat? The humidity? Or is it just that it's such a miserable place only the lunatics either go or stay there? But so many of these horrifying, shocking events occur there it might be worthy of a) determining its root causes and b) convincing people Florida should just be formally named the violent fruitloop penal colony it already seems to be.

Read all about it While this crime, killing one's husband, then trisecting him and putting him in three suitcases to be tossed into the Chesapeake Bay on the surface seems like a horrendous crime, the MWB team completely sympathizes. Note to self: the suitcases and body bags always wash ashore. You gotta convince him to take a trip where there are piranhas. oops... Did I write that out loud?

Read all about it When this boy genius gets out of jail, maybe he can submit an application to NASA; I hear they're looking for a good scientist who knows the difference between metrics and the Imperial system. A quick net search will bring him up to speed.

I've been noticing that liberal women are really uptight. Really uptight. For example, I drive a small sports car (metallic blue, convertible, my flaming red hair looks so hot on a top-down day... but I digress) and I must go over speedbumps very slowly and carefully. About 90% of the women in my building get their flesh colored pantyhose knotted far up their buttcracks while they wait an extra 1 minute 30 seconds to exit the parking garage. Another... chatting it up with the hot young checker at the grocery store, the thick-thighed, black hair-lipped beetches just wind it up, and I say, go get laid sister! Since they are liberals and they can't be bothered to let go in this patriarchal hell we call Southern California, I decided to let you see for yourselves what the differences are between US, and THEM... here are a few... CONSERVATIVE [or libertarian;)] ASSES:

LIBERAL ASSES:
          
Which one would you rather put your hands on?