Read all about it Unfortunately for you, me, consumers everywhere, and the union employees themselves, the latest warnings that the big unions are in trouble and perhaps headed towards demise is just another chicken little cry. This story describes in-fighting, political problems, and legal problems of the largest union in the US today. Um, 'scuse me, but doesn't this describe the state of the unions since 1920? I do not believe Jimmy Hoffa was fed to the fishes (or the stadium parking lot, as the case may be) because the Union's family harmony was as strong as the Brady Bunch in the last 30 seconds of any episode. Nor would this be the first time the unions have faced significant investigations by the federal government, nor the first time its members are dissatisfied with the results they receive. However, since the few remaining very highly paid unskilled labor jobs (liquor, longshoreman, car manufacturing) which remain in the US are strangleheld by unions, that no single person has the choice not to belong to a union to work in one of these union jobs, the death knell is a little premature. Indeed, the satisfaction with unions by their own members have been waning since the 70's. Other than a few exceptionally choice meats--such as longshoremen--the benefits union receive for their huge union dues is small. They have free health care, but uh, 'scuse me again you blind union members, you're paying $100 a month for this freebie, and you're starting to be able to do the math even though you went to California Public Schools. The members see that when they go on strike for the newest and future members of the unions (grocery store strikes) they lost big; the grocery stores lost little money (since they weren't paying fat cat union wages and benefits for so long) and people still shopped and didn't really care. Further, why should they care about the future snot-noses when they have a family to feed today? Retirement, the other sacred cow of the unions, is proving to be a lost ghost as well. While the unions have managed to previously brainwash their masses that their retirement plans are better, safer, blah blah, anyone with a friend in Finance 101 and a handy Texas Instruments calculator can tell you even in the most risky 401k plan where losses are racked up, the 401k retiree will be sipping frothy margaritas in Bali while you line up at the Walmart in Phoenix for the big sale on Shasta Root Beer. Again, in spite of their California Public Educations, the natives are growing restless at the math that proves their non-union peers frolicking with natives in the tropics. However, while the stranglehold holds, the unions have a furious infusion of cash and I doubt they will fold in my lifetime. But believe me, I'll be checking the US news from the sub-equatorial tropical beach when I retire.

Read all about it A child who was abused so severely that she is now permanently physically and mentally disabled won $26 million from the state of Florida. It seems that when a child is beaten by her parents, or the mother's boyfriend (in this case), the state is liable. The child couldn't walk, and she was taken to a hospital where a tumor was found on her spine. An abuse investigation was opened her collar bone was also found unexplicably broken. Within one month of being released from the hospital she received the devastating beating. If the state takes your kids away because they think you're abusing them, and the state is wrong, the state is responsible (read in dollar signs). If the state doesn't take your kids and you are abusing them, the state is responsible (more dollar signs). The state can't win, the kids are losers regardless, and the taxpayers foot the bill as always. Juries (and liberals in general) forget that the 'state' doesn't sit around printing money all day; it comes from somewhere. And abusers should first and foremost be the parties responsible when these crimes occur; the state's only involvement can--at best--be a stopgap that may or may not stop all the gaps. The number of children in foster care is a staggering figure. How can a massive government bureaucracy possibly identify and help them all... Neither the child nor the adoptive parents have a claim to the state's coffer's and no right to become instant millionaires due to the evil mother and the evil mother's boyfriend.

Read all about it So much focus is on Newsweek for having printed an inflammatory news story based on flimsy or fabricated evidence of wrongdoing at Guantanamo Bay. Of course MediaWatchblog is not surprised that such a story would make it to print in this magazine, no more than we were over CBS' Memogate. This media mis-information has been and will be an issue as long as liberals think the media is unbiased, and as long as media organizations continue to be blindly arrogant with news decisions. But it's blissful to me that the liberal media blindness is now running them over as surely as 94 year-old driving at 2 a.m. In the same way that media leftists have not written that the carnage in Iraq is due to homicidal maniacs, they are simply retreating and not addressing the fact that once again the maniacs are at work. These prehistoric animals have murdered, pillaged, and destroyed city streets over the mere suggestion that their holy book has been desecrated. I wonder what license the leftists would give us when they desecrate our flag, the Christian bible, or our religious symbols by displaying pagan “artwork”--urine soaked religious artifacts--paid for by taxpayers. The violence committed by these 'people' is astounding; they slaughter more human beings than the most notorious serial killer in the history of the western world combined. They are more cruel, heartless, and inhumane than any despot; they simply have limited resources. And yet the media writes about these 'people' as though the had a reason--a valid reason--to murder and maim the way they do. Perhaps the reason they live in abject poverty and misery is that they are barbarians for another time; one more fitting the Crusades than Microsoft. And perhaps that means we should let them all rot in their miserable deserts. I'd walk to work for that cause...

The Golden Ass by Apuleius is a fabulous piece of Greek literature. The main character, Lucius, is transformed into an ass after he happens upon a town of witches. The story is about Lucius attempting to find a remedy to his ass problem, such as it is. That's about how I'd sum up many of us Americans. Yes, Americans. Americans are unique in the Western world in that we drive everywhere (as opposed to taking public transportation), lead soccer-game fueled frenetic lives, eat lots of pre-prepared foods in fabulous excess, and watch too much television. Before I romanticize our train-loving, Metropolitain-riding European cousines, for the record I was highly amazed how un-put-out Europeans are by having to ride bicycles through Munich in Winter, or by the mud slogging you must to do to catch the Metro in gay Paris...but I digress. Our thighs spread, our frenzied lives become too much, and Desperate Housewives hits too close to home. We start to look for the magic diet pill, anti-depressants, and a different TV Show. What the hell am I rambling on about... I had a talk with a gal having trouble keeping her weight off, and having pain in her neck from "tendonitis due to a PC monitor," which made it even more difficult to exercise. Sounds reasonable, even likely, doesn't it? She was in so much pain she was considering a workers' compensation claim. She then says, "have you seen this show?" and "have you tried netflix?" Mouth shut, me thinks, the neck pain isn't from bizillion hours of weekly TV?I started to tell her how I, coincidentally, had been having a stiff neck. It was completely cured by neck exercises I do in Jiu Jitsu, and she stepped back, aghast... exercise? The look on her face...put my hand in boiling oil? My goodness no; no time for the gym (a gym, for which our company pays 100% of the dues, is in our parking lot). And, she didn't want to worsen the severity of the "injury." This gal is now getting some horse pills from the doctor for the pain, while juggling transportation to her daughter's dance lessons and her son to Pee Wee Football. Once again, mouth shut, but me thinks that the solution to this crazy life is the horse pills, the physical pain... much like Lucius in search of a solution to his ass transformation, that's what we do. The simple solutions are in front of us, and they're simple. But as Golden Lazy Asses, we can't discern our fuzzy lips from our tails. The irony of it is that she is not lazy at all; she runs around like Paul Revere on the eve of the invasion. But rather than refocusing her efforts, she'll hit the horse pills and the simple solution will slip further out of reach.

Read all about it A fanatical Christian friend I had once told me how homosexuality was wrong, but he would not hate them "just" for being gay, and did he not believe they would go to hell. How magnanimous it is of Christians to let gays through the pearly gates, along with child murderers who have been redeemed on their way to the gas chamber. He would only say he "loves the sinner, but hates the sin." Sin? I would ask him, isn't it the least bit possible god created homosexuals to control the population? Or perhaps to provide nannies for orphaned children. Women were dropping left and right during childbirth...a flaming homosexual nanny would be a gift from god, in my mind. It wasn't possible to him that human beings are so complex, so much so that infinite variations are possible, and that this is one of the defective variations just like cleft palates, dwarfism, or red hair. I wouldn't normally compare gays to dwarfs, but I'm trying to reach Christian logic centers here; if a person did not choose to be homosexual, there is no way it could be a sin. Even more, it might be part of the grand design, of which Christians always profess not to have personal knowledge; that doesn't stop them from telling us they know better than we do when it comes to their belief systems. He couldn't answer why fanatical Christians are so concerned with who screws what in where. After all, if homosexuals are so evil, and they're recruiting, protect your kids from them the same way you would from drug dealers, or people who use the F word too much. It never made sense to him when I said, "It's none of your business what they do in bed, and NO, holding hands in public does NOT make it your business any more than it makes it my business whether or not you and your wife have oral sex, just because you hold hands in public." We must not tolerate fanatical Christianity any more than fundamentalist Islam. The ultimate path of each is the limitation of personal liberty and bloodthirsty pogroms. The Crusades may have been hundreds of years ago but Bosnia, Serbia, Sudan, and many others were just yesterday. Let's not have a tomorrow.

Read all about it As if we needed more evidience that the runaway bride was completely nuts and not marriage material... But this guy will probably marry her like god says he should and he'll end up with 5 dead kids. Can you spell Y-A-T-E-S, you dear future husband of this whackadoo?

- Is anyone else sick of that ho hum brunette as the Yahoo! Mail cover girl? Is the Calvin Klein undie model available? - Why do idiots in SoCal drive in the left lanes when traffic is passing them on the right? - Why are traffic lights never synchronized? Why am I stopped at light #1, lights #2 and #3 are green. Light #1 goes green, so light #2 goes red; light #3 stays green. Light #2 goes green and now light #3 goes red. Has anyone calculated how much time and gas we waste stopping at 10 lights in 10 blocks? - Why are people in Southern California so complacent over the illegal immigration problem? - How do people who call me racist for being against illegal immigration answer to the fact that Mexico's laws are the same or more strict than ours? Are they racist?

Read all about it Apparently, there's no murder, drunken driving, child molestation, kidnappings, beatings, or any other serious crime in Texas because they have time to pass laws banning cheerleader butt jiggles. And in the State's House of Representatives, no less. Unbelievably, I'm siding with the only sane person quoted in this story: "Democratic state Rep. Senfronia Thompson, also of Houston, said the bill was a waste of valuable time. 'I think the Texas Education Agency has enough to do making sure our kids are better educated, and we are wasting our time with "one two three four, we can't shake it any more?"' Thompson told legislators.

Bumper stickers seen on a gargantuan SUV on the road today: Right side of bumper: "Cap Insurance Rates -- Not Injured Workers' Compensation" Left side (how appropriate) of bumper: "John Kerry..." blah blah something about a new America, blah blah This moron is no more aware that the election campaign is ancient history, and that they make stuff that makes taking those stickers off real simple, than he is able to understand you cannot pull money out of anyone's arse-not even a corporate arse. The parental refrain "Money doesn't grow on trees!" just didn't sink in there, did it buddy. How can you provide an unlimited outflow of benefits (benefit=cost=money is required to buy!) with a limited inflow for the payment for said benefits? Or does $1 + $1 = infinity on Planet Leftist?

One of my favorite people in the whole wide world looks like Ben Affleck's fraternal twin. I have dubbed him Brett Affleck, and I think he'd pass as such at any Follywood A-list restaurant or club (just take me with you, B). Several people who've heard me talk about him but have never seen him have said, aw, come on now, how much does he really look like him...? You be the judge.