Marla went to Vegas. Good times, good times. End of story! We love you Marla!

I had the privilege of attending a one year-old's birthday party on Sunday. My sister was in town for the party (she lives an hour away otherwise), so it doubled as a bi-weekly visit with her and my precious nieces. Everyone who matters has seen their pictures and already knows how unbelievably beautiful they are, but I digress... The hostess/mother rented one of those huge blow-up tent thingies in which kids can jump up and down with little danger of serious injury. The kids can't bounce as high as a trampoline and the tent is enclosed with blow-up and netted sides. Inside this latex beast, we have a mini window into a major debate. Where's the president of Harvard? Where's the Huffy Witch who couldn't even listen Dr. Sumners' opinion that, god forBID, girls and boys are--gasp--different? If Huffy Harvard Witch took her fingers out of her ears and her fist out of her own self-blackened eyes, she might see what I saw on sunny Sunday California day. A dialogue, if you will, between 2 year-old Lucas, 3 year-old Jacob, and 3 year-old Emily: "I'm Lucas. I'm 2. Watch me jump on Jacob!" "Look! Look! I can flip this [pointing to the ceiling of the tent]! Watch!" ""Owwwch! Go away! Please! I'm jumping!" "I shot him in your head! Bang! You're dead! I took your head off!" "No you didn't. I shot you dead. Pow pow!" While I could go through this discourse and credit the quotes, I don't think anyone will have any difficulty in discerning what gender spoke. What I found infinitely fascinating was just how different these wee little lasses and lassies are, so early on; strikingly so. Mammals of the four-legged furry type are indistinguishable until sexual maturity. We are completely different from the moment we hit our feet and start opening cupboard doors. Socialization had nothing to do with this exchange; my sister never taught her daughter to be dimunitive and sweet, "like a lady" should be. Even if she had, what a lady is like would mean nothing at such a young age. It is simply how Emily is, and has been, since she could walk. I'm sure Lucas and Jacob have been boy-style terrors since they could walk. Why the "debate" continues on whether or not boys and girls are different is mind boggling. That we are, end of story. Why we are, only a bit more debatable. How much impact this difference has on the statistical probability of a female becoming a brilliant scientist vs. a male becoming a brilliant scientist, the only unanswered question. If Huffy Witch spent a little more time on this answer and less on turning harmless comments into statements of absolutes and fact, perhaps she could really make an impact on this world, rather than the job of one brave man.

Read all about it Our good friend Jesse has managed to pull off another appearance at a non-event. Jesse's quite a bit like personal injury attorneys who sit with a police scanner in one hand and a business card in the other; as soon as they hear of a tragic, disfiguring accident, they're on hand--long before medical personnel. Three students at Trinity University received racial threats via email, an alarming occurrance at the normally peaceful Christian U. In comes Jesse to pontificate about the pervasive nature of racism; the dorms were evacuated, the white witch hunt was on. There was just a small problem...the emails were fabricated by a black student so that she could use the campus safety problem as a reason to leave school. With the media on Jesse's side, he doesn't even have to slouch away with his tail between his legs. Not that Charlie Sheen and his genius buddies would care; they'd just cry at some awards banquet again... "Come back Jesse! We need you!" We need you to rip off your own people and to stir up racial tensions, hate, and discontent where there was otherwise none to be found!!!!! Right here, in the streets, your streets, your community feels patently justified in allowing the murders of one another go on and on. So go ahead, Jessie, chase racist ghosts; just make sure you leave your business cards only on the living victims, just like all good sharks. You can save on printing costs. Besides, the dead can no longer worship your Wizard-of-Oz image or donate money to your fradulent organization.

Greetings to my fans, friends, family, and to all those who are one in the same. The Media Watchblog Watchdog is back, and oh we have some blogging to do. From stories on unfair child support, Jessie Jackson suckering into a racist email hoax (media whore that he is), a Native American tribe voting that marriage is between one man and one woman, and the unfolding revelations that the Scandinavian countries are about as poor as church mice, jumping contraceptive jelly batman, we have a lot to discuss. While Marla maintains her palatial digs in the Orange County, California mountains, I have moved from one absolutely fabulous hideaway to an even more AbFab spread in a city center. With a sprawling formal dining room, gourmet granite kitchen, and a terrace with a mountain view fit for the Watchdog Queen of the Media World that I am, who wants to sit at a computer and write? ! Marla and I will be in full swing by May 1... Marla's on her way to a hedonistic weekend for two in Vegas (not that we'll know what she does! What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!) and I need to plain relax. For the record, Marla and I are the Media Watchblog team. Marla provides many, many of the blog topic ideas/stories, assists in MWB publicity, and I do all the writing, provide blog topic ideas, and assist in MWB publicity. Welcome back, fans!

Read all about it Whilst I may chide liberals for taking joy in counting the failures or foibles of a budding Iraqi society (I wrote two blogs on it; one below and another during their historic vote), I must say I'm feeling a little gleeful myself over the fall of a 68-year old woman. Why am I willing to earn yet another millenia in purgatory? She's a Kennedy, and the tag lines are too much to resist... She is found unconscious in the middle of a street, with a broken shoulder and a concussion, she's a Kennedy, and "Details of how...she ended up in the street were unclear." Unclear... she's a Kennedy! "Joan...has struggled with alcoholism." Unclear...perhaps to the Kennedy family but not to anyone else.

Read all about it Now that the insurgents are growing tired of blowing themselves to bits limb by limb only to find another American tank (or newly armored Humvee, as the case may be) lumbering down the street... Now that the Iraqis are growing tired of the killers in their midst being the holders of the Koran, not the US flag... now that the democratic process is finally gluing itself together... what is the only thing on which CNN makes a comment? The "Acrimony" of the Assembly session. I suppose the CNN writers believe the first Continental Congress was just one big tea-drinking love-fest. They do not seem to recall from their history lessons that this new great nation nearly fell apart. Or perhaps the re-written history taught in public schools is clouding their knowledge base. But since we're just a colonial, patriarchal, Indian-killing machine, maybe they're still sore that the USA didn't fall apart, which explains their virtual glee over the spirited debate in the New Iraq. While they kneel at their Euro-worshipping thrones, I'd ask these giddy-at-your-misery pigs whether they noticed that the caucuses of the European Union are not any better. The discussions on human cloning alone are enough to send the Catholic Italians to the exit door. I hope to look back on this historical moment in the Middle East and say, see, crybabies, it was possible to make a democratic nation out of a population of devout Muslims.

Nope, this is not about Terrie Schiavo... I think you can find enough blogging on that and you're fed up with it anyway (pardon the pun). This post is about how women are brainwashed by the fashion industry. First, we're led to believe that models are the vision of health, the ideal, what men are looking for. I don't know about you, ladies, but I don't know any guy who would touch the stick figure below. Second, we're marketed clothes that were created so that they look good on the stick figure below. Do you remember how many times you asked, "Does this make me look fat?" Well, yeah, it was made for a stick figure and YOU'RE NOT! Third, we're led to believe that those eyes, that skin, those thighs, are real. I saw a show on how they took the background of a model's photo and pasted it over her thigh to make it look about 2 inches thinner than it already was, and believe me, it was already very skinny. Don't forget about the perfect lighting; I don't know how many of you get to walk around with a soft hue of pink light around you, but I've never been able to pull that off. Fourth, Hollywoodland feminists are perpetrators; Susan Sarandon, Uma Thurman, Madonna. Sarandon frequently occupies a front-row seat at fashion shows; where are her cries of protest when the 3/4ths-starved models cruise the runway with clothes pinned to their sac-o-bones bods? How can she and her cronies be so indignant and at the same time so participatory? Lastly, thank god women aren't the idiotic stepford wives the feminists frequently make us out to be; we can actually look at this stick figure and go, "Eew!" confident that our man at home is sayin', yeah! My baby got back!

I had the privilege of seeing Bill Maher's HBO show a few weeks ago (I say privilege because I do not have cable/satellite and my TV is 1/2 purple so I don't watch too much of it... it had an accident with my floor as I adjusted some cables on it and it just hasn't been the same since...). Dismayed, appalled, frightening...that would be a good start. The topic? The University of Colorado professor who called WTC victims 'little Eichmanns' in an essay. The setup? The brother (gorgeous, by the way) of a victim, employed by Cantor Fitzgerald. Maher had read the whole essay and wanted to give this idiot professor his time to explain how his words were taken out of context, to offer this idiot a forum to say what he meant rather than being contextualized by the media. However, when the idiot spoke, it was didn't seem as though anything was taken out of context. According to this idiot, the victims, at least a few of them, had to have been the type of person Eichmann was; you know the kind, the person who facilitates the murder of 6 million people. They're everywhere, you know. Foot-in-mouth disease apparently can't be stopped even when an anti-American p-fer like Maher gives you a soft landing. The gorgeous brother responded angrily that none of the people at Cantor Fitzgerald were the evil empire-ites the idiot claims they were. Further, his brother was the kindest, gentlest soul you could ever hope to meet. The idiot just goes on about how some people in the WTC were, so there. Following this logic, I suppose we should blow up all buildings where large numbers of people are gathered, just to make sure we get all the little Eichmanns... This idiot sounded just as horrible, mean-spirited, and ego-centric in person as he did in the essay (worse, perhaps). Maher tried to rescue the show by going on about how horrible it was for the US to have bombed Dresden (I know, I know, if you went to CA public schools as I did you may not know this is a city in Germany which the allies leveled in WWII), how horrible our bombings of Nagasaki and Hiroshima were (read Prisoners of the Japanese before you nod to this assertion), how we killed the Native Americans to take their land. Maher must suffer from funnel vision. The only way he could even begin to make any correlation between the WTC attacks and all that claptrap is to be looking through a funnel. Yes, a funnel. In a funnel, you see a little bit around you but you're primarily focused on a single spot. Again, just in keeping with the spirit of their logic, the Louvre should be leveled due to French atrocities in Southeast Asia, for the war crimes committed by Napoleon. I'd really love to hear the penance Germany should pay for both WWI and WWII... oy vay! What should Russia suffer for Stalin's extermination of 10 million Russians? What should we do to those awful communist Cambodians for Pol Pot? Oh that's right, he killed off everyone already, maybe their dues are paid. First, I'd argue there is no issue with the leveling of Dresden, with the bombings of Hiroshima or Nagasaki. It was war, we needed a way out, we sacrificed thousands on the beaches of Normandy and in the trenches of the South Pacific, it's not possible to think we were just going to march our way through Europe; the air fight--including Hiroshima and Nagasaki--were critical to bringing that war to an end. I agree, our treatment of the Native Americans was an abomination; it is a horror; I wish to god it had been different. But we can't change it, and 3000+ people do not have to die today for those crimes. There isn't a nation on this earth who has not committed atrocities in its history. Not a single one. Not even Switzerland. The leftists are so blindingly funnel-visioned, they can ignore the horrors committed by everyone and everything but the United States. We are eternally damned for having the nerve to have existed as a nation. But never, NEVER do innocent victims deserve to be incinerated, never do they deserve to be forced to jump off a 100+ storey building to avoid the unbearable pain of burning to death in the flames of ignited jet fuel. Further, Maher, those ideologues don't give a damn about Dresden; they are only focused on how to hurt the United States for having rescued Kuwait from the grips of Saddam and doing it on Saudi Arabian soil. They only care about the fact that we support Israel. Lefists ignore all kinds of things, including that no Arab country has come to the rescue of the so-called Palestinians, and how homicide bombers walking into Passover dinners. I would really like to know how someone like Maher resolves the tyranny which has been a part of all history in all countries and all territories for all humanity, how he resolves the conflict in himself between the US-as-sole-world-aggressor and reality. How he and his ilk can continually justify anti-US rhetoric with our past 'crimes' while completely ignoring those of other countries. Let's see the current standings: Stalin 10,000,000+ Hitler 6,000,000+ Pol Pot 3,000,000+ Rwanda 937,000+ Milosovic 200,000+* What US atrocities equal those stated above and therefore justify the innocent lives taken on 9/11? *It's difficult to see which of the quoted figures is accurate; will update as located.

Read all about it... Those crazy Austrians... I'm not sure why anyone would be a little taken aback by the use of human corpses to study crash test dummies. Home of Hitler, Mozart, and a near-caste system where wives are addressed by the highest level educational degree of their husbands ("Greetings Mrs. Dr. Ralf Schmidt") would seem the likliest place such an experiment would occur.

Read all about it In February, I wrote about the creepy chick who was married to a child predator who lived too close to a school. So, upon his release from prison, she and he had to move to meet the so-many-feet-from-schools probation requirement. I elected her to creepy chick of the year for staying married to a creature who would even have to meet such requirements. One of my commenters says, so, what are we supposed to do? Put them all in a village in Death Valley? No, that would be too good for them. Every 20 years, they'd see a nice bloom of flowers. They deserve no such luxuries. To the commenters credit, he/she leaves the door open for discussion on eternal incarceration for these predators. With the death of Jessica Marie Lunsford at the hands of just such a predator, it's inconceivable that we would ever allow them into any neighborhood ever again. Siberia would be too good. Maybe a stint on Antarctica, however, might be just the place. Perhaps we could provide them a choice; Antarctica, or life in general prison population. The monster who apparently raped and definitely murdered this poor child had no history of child murder, just the types of crimes the creepy chick's husband had committed. It's laughable to believe that just because they won't live near a school the children are safe from the creepy chick's predator husband. When, WHEN will the we learn; child predators, habitual violent criminals, felons of most types, do not rehabilitate. To loose them on society is, well, to be perfectly willing to say, "Yup, we can't lock people away forEVER, when they pay their dues to society, the rest of the price is more raped and murdered little babies. Yup, we're okay wid dat. What else ya gonna do?" Exactly, what else are we going to do. What else.