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October 31, 2006
MWB Doesn't Pick: The entire MNF Commentating Team
So this year, Monday Night Football went to ESPN. As annoying as John Madden can be, holding his hand up so you can see his Super Bowl rings, endlessly talking about "momentum", and Al Michaels, John's seeming lapdog, eesh, I was happy to learn they would not be the MNF commentators when it went to ESPN.
Alas, as Granny always said, be careful what you ask for.
The MNF commentating on ESPN this season is worse than bad. It's horrible. The endless drivel about some game that happened 20 years ago...Last night: "Remember that game in 1986?" And for 99% of the people watching, NO, they DON'T remember some random game from 20 years ago. Oh, but it gets much worse...
They went on to somehow call the "front line" of some basketball team the "best" front line in basketball. Then, one of the idiots said, "Oh, to segue..." then began speaking about the football game they were supposed to be commenting on in the first place! iGanja properly noted something along the lines of, "You idiot! the segue was your random claptrap on basketball!"
Oh, but it gets much worse...
At some point, the weenie little guy in the middle of this commentating team with an 80 combined IQ said, do I dare try to remember this verbatim? It was so fucking random I can't even recall what analogy he was making...but it was something like, "It's like Shirley Maclaine in [enter name of some fucking Broadway musical here] on Broadway." Huh? I think he was talking about the Tom Brady, and how reliable he is. But shit man, come ON! There isn't a straight guy outside New York City who wants to hear one lick about Broadway musicals! And to compare one of the best (and hottest and manliest) football players to an old superstitious hag like Shirley Maclaine, WTF!!!!! I was speechless... As much as we tried to fiddle with turning off this speaker, moving the balance, you name it, we could not silence these buffoons and still hear the game so we were stuck.
Note to Monday Night Football at ESPN: FIRE THESE GUYS NOW! The games have sucked enough...do we have to hear lame commentary by three ugly guys, too? Pleeeeeze!
Posted by Michela at 07:38 AM | Comments (11)
October 30, 2006
Where to start...
CNN has a video news blurb about a twenty year-old Alabama man who sexually assaulted his own mother. Yes, the chuckles could begin if the story wasn't so tragically bizarre. And the bizarro-ness mounts (eh-hem) when you learn, by watching said video blurb, that the attack occurred when said Alabama man entered his mother's trailer and assualted her while she was passed out drunk on the sofa.
Okay, to avoid any further stints in Purgatory, Michela is just going to stop right there. Let the comments begin!
Posted by Michela at 02:14 PM | Comments (2)
October 26, 2006
Fabulous quote of the day!
Unbelievably, I've seen three examples in the last two days of two-sided reporting on the CNN channel and CNN.com. I keep checking my pulse, and fortunately, it's still there. But given the shocking nature of such fairness by ardent socialist Ted Turner's network, it's amazing I'm not dead on the floor.
This piece is a response by Jim Gilchrist to an ingratiating opinion piece about the events at Columbia University where students successfully put a wet towel on a freedom of speech fire. They violently attacked Mr. Gilchrist and thereby prevented him from speaking; an infringment on free speech which, if committed by non-liberals, would have caused a media maelstrom not seen since Nixon's henchment broke into the Watergate Hotel. But since the violence was perpetrated against conservative speech, eh, eesss okay mayn.
But here is the fabulous quote in which Gilchrist challenges CNN.com readers to wonder whether they think for themselves, or they are led around by the media sheepherders:
The hope and belief of Navarrette and his fellow propagandist journalists, along with anti-American groups like those that disrupted my speech, is that readers are so simple-minded they cannot distinguish between truth and fiction. One can only hope that CNN.com readers are not so easily fooled.
Unfortunately, Mr. Gilcrhist, those who can already think for themselves agree with you. Too many sheep are following the anti-American sheepherders who are leading this Nation off the edge of a steep cliff. There is no sign of reason interceding before we hit the canyon floor. And most of our politicians are ready to follow the sheep right of the edge. Hopefully, Planet Michela will be ready for reasonable people to escape to when the freefall begins.
Posted by Michela at 10:14 AM | Comments (0)
October 25, 2006
Random Rant: "Reply to All" must end!
Why are people so retarded about using the Reply to All feature in company email? Two recent examples:
-- An associate sent out an email with an urgent request for someone who speaks Mandarin Chinese. At LEAST 20 idiot replies (to all, of course) said, simply, "I don't speak Mandarin. Sorry!" Another 20 replies were generated when a reply-to-all idiot replied (to all) "Please remove me from this email thread." with 20 MORE replies (to all) "Me too!"
Starting with reply-to-all idiots in the first email flood: the requestor needed people who DO speak Mandarin Chinese, NOT a list of company employees who DO NOT! And, FYI, 1700 people DO NOT need to know that you DO NOT speak Mandarin Chinese! We'd guess that fact with 100% accuracy! How? You're too dumb to learn such a complicated language!
And to you reply-to-all idiots in the second reply-to-all flood, you were the idiots who caused the thread to be perpetuated another 40 times! So remove YOU from the thread? What, and reduce the annoyance to you for your annoyance to US? No way!
--An associate advises the occupants of X building that the power will be out from 9 p.m to midnight and okay, we'll give benefit of the doubt that someone actually needs to know this. Then a reply-to-all idiot replies (to all) "Thanks for the update, John Doe!" Okay reply-to-all idiot, nobody cares to see your thank you!
Whew, I feel so much better... now if only I could reply-to-all with this rant attached!
Posted by Michela at 04:22 PM | Comments (4)
October 20, 2006
George Orwell, Forget 1984...Meet 2006
It has happened. Two United States Border Patrol Agents doing their jobs will spend 11 & 12 years in prison each for defending your nation against illegal aliens and drug traffickers. The drug trafficker will get $5,000,000 of your tax dollars in a lawsuit he has filed, and which has now been completely validated with the persecution and prosecution and conviction of these agents. And, according to George the Liar Bush ("fight against terror" my ass; you want our borders open and you have just intimidated every single US Border Patrol agent into letting anyone and anything cross our borders), Alberto the Pig Fucker Gonzales ("Attorney General" is right, you generally think like an attorney which is what's in it for me justice-be-damned), and Debra the CUNT Kanof ("Chief of Major Crimes" who lets illegal alien drug traffickers testify against US Border Patrol Agents, and let's the MAJOR CRIMINAL--the trafficker--completely off the hook), according to all these cocksuckers, your nation is safe now that this man is going to prison and his three children will be fatherless for 11 years.
Agent Ramos and his wife:
Posted by Michela at 11:19 AM | Comments (0)
October 19, 2006
The fruits of Communist Labor--Nothing!
This is a picture of the results of decades of communist rule... a society that cannot even afford nor has the infrastructure still in place to turn on the lights. When human beings are constricted, their creativity not only -not- rewarded but punished (you cannot allow free thinkers in such a society), their incentives to do good things for themselves and not for the 'great society'--as human evolution has created us as selfish creatures as the mechanism by which we ensure our families and therefore our DNA survive--are quashed, when such a society exists, well, here's what you get...
Satellite photo of North Korea at night:
A country where people are starving to death in the dark. Let's hear it for communisim!
Special thanks to bcr for passing this gem along...
Posted by Michela at 01:42 PM | Comments (2)
October 18, 2006
Cry me a muthafukin rivah!
If only I could file a lawsuit every time I got shitty food and / or service at a restaurant (click -> Here <- to read about one instance), I'd be freekin rich! Unfortunately, the instances where ugly waitresses discriminate against petite hotties do not qualify for a lawsuit. But then again, neither should the restaurant who screwed up and happened to provide shit service to black people. News flash: IT HAPPENS. And, my weenie minded liberal powder puff girls, it is not always discrimination!
Posted by Michela at 04:09 PM | Comments (1)
October 17, 2006
The haiku of the spam
For those of you who doubt the traffic this site receives based on comments...I'll tell you whut! I get lots of uncommented traffic (MADDOX! I KNOW YOU'RE READING!!!!:). And spammers have found michela@mediawatchblog.com from my posts, and I get all kinds of spam there. As I was scanning the subject lines, it occurred to me it was quite poetic. I took the subject lines of 22 emails, exactly as they were received (caps errors and all), and just give this masterpiece a read!
Work from home
Feel Strong
Nice Job!
Volume boomed in day, sit it triple friday
then
check out volume
it is...
prudent evident
ab~see you bastard
documents disclaimer
Chavez kept in her criticism
i can
outofdate innovate
Now. How do pasta
Expand?
Serious message You Require Read
Language the web pages
UWIN
SHOW
Bush of having spoken
before buy, You
puzzle like other. travel
And then...
Their wired lives wears
My hand to God, reading from email #1 to email #22, this is what they said. Isn't it beautiful?
Posted by Michela at 04:16 PM | Comments (8)
October 11, 2006
Whackadoo quote of the day
New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, on the plane crash which claimed anywhere from 1-4 lives (depending on which news report you believe):
We have to say a little prayer for those we lost, the two human beings whose lives were snuffed out.
At first glance, it seems like a nice thing to say, a hey-everyone-lets-pray for those who died; prayer is a very soothing thing in difficult times. But a "little" prayer for those whose lives were "snuffed"? Aye! That's something Billy Jim Bob might say:
Y'all, lits purray fer snuff. I mean, thuh lahves that wuz snuffed.
Posted by Michela at 04:29 PM | Comments (0)
Will the REAL Witch doctor please stand up?
I've mocked CNN (and other) headlines before, this one takes the cake:
Fake witch doctor shopped WalMart, cops say.
So I guess there's really nothing to worry about, since it was just a fake witch doctor. When the headline says "Real witch doctor takes over WalMart" then we should be scared. When the CNN reporter finds a "real" witch doctor, perhaps they can ask this question (if the real witch doctor is a Republican, you can be rest assured of hard hitting questions of this nature; if the real witch doctor is a Democrat, fuggeddaboutit).
Posted by Michela at 11:57 AM | Comments (2)
Michela's suggestion of the day
It's the only suggestion of the day ever on MWB, but it's brilliant, of course. As a software geek, I write a lot for my job. I draw cute little pictures, write stuff (software flows, risk mitigation plans, integration points and what they do, blah blah byte me) and I have been hindered more than once by the fact that I write with my right hand, and the mouse and mouse pad are also on the right side. So when I have to write, it's always kind of a pain to get to a place on the desk where the mouse/keyboard won't interfere with my right hand.
So, of course, I started wondering why do we mouse with our writing hands anyway? It's not a very dexterity-intense action. I moved the mouse to my left side; after 2 weeks, I barely notice the difference. And I get to keep my pen and paper right where it needs to be--on the RIGHT!
Posted by Michela at 09:14 AM | Comments (4)
October 10, 2006
Babs is still a bitch and a repugnant intolerable leftist piglet
Thanks Marla...we needed another example of liberal loonies this week. Who knew a person could be a human (although whether Barbara the Bitch Streisand is a human might be debatable), a bitch, and a pig at the same time. But in keeping with this week's theme that the left can dish it out like grits for a Sunday breakfast in Mississippi, they can't take even a teaspoon of their own vile medicine back.
Babs lashed out at a concert goer for not being overly thrilled with her Bush Bash. She tells that person to shut the fuck up, and then goes on a preach about "tolerance." Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?
Posted by Michela at 05:44 PM | Comments (5)
October 09, 2006
It ain't just us software geeks, eh?
It's really nice to know that an engineering effort such as the creation of an airplane by an airplane company with lots of experience in this field (Airbus) are as behind schedule as any software project on this planet might be. Computer scientists get a lot of flak for not being able to zero in more accurately on the estimate of engineering efforts required as well as other engineering disciplines do, but apparently, rocket scientists have the same problem.
Posted by Michela at 05:24 PM | Comments (1)
October 06, 2006
Ah the tolerance police strike again
The intolerance of the left is just the theme of the week!
Jim Gilchrist, founder of the Minuteman project which sought to stem the tide of illegal aliens into the United States from Mexico (JUST AS MEXICO DOES WITH ILLEGAL ALIEN GUATEMALANS ON THE SOUTHERN BORDER OF MEXICO) by instituting a volunteer 'guard' network along the border, was phycially assaulted while trying to give a peaceful speech at Columbia University.
Apparently the part of the brain that gets you into Columbia isn't the same part that can reason that people should not be physically assaulted for having a different view of Planet Earth than you have. That, my friends, is the same mentality of homicidal religious extremists as they blow up children. The Columbia U students and Katie the Bitch Couric can be proud they're in the same company as homicidal maniacs.
Posted by Michela at 04:17 PM | Comments (2)
Who's intolerant again? The "Repugnant" LEFT!
From reading this blog, you might think I'm some right-wing, Christian, 'family-values', anti-whatever with black helicopter defense systems built into the roof of my bomb shelter. At least you might think that until you find the posts about decriminalizing marijuana.
The reality is, I'm just about dead center between the left and the right. The right abhors the liberalization of drugs, which I strongly support; the right abhors choice (related to abortion, and for that matter, what I do to my body in any respect...drugs, whatever) which I strongly support; the right abhors or wishes to weaken separation of church and state, with which I strongly disagree. I don't support the Iraq war; I don't support the Patriot Act; I could go on and on.
But here's where the right beats the left hands down...HYPOCRISY. The left touts freedom of speech, unless it's "hate speech", the definition of which they conveniently own. They fiercely defended Clinton when he so obviously lied under oath and committed "sexual harrassment" as--again--defined by the left themselves, and then go after a gay Congressman whose misdeeds were decidedly less despicable. The left touts tolerance, unless it is of a viewpoint with which they decide is repugnant.
This article soundly supports everything I state above. CBS / Katie the Bitch Couric decided to allow a so-called right wing person to comment on their beloved evening news show. Those comments caused Katie the Bitch Couric to state later that "some might find the comments repugnant." Really? Know how many millions of Americans find your flavor of left-wing bias "repugnant"? No? Well, millions! Here are the comments Ms. Bitch Couric decided some Americans might find "repugnant" (the son of the man making these comments was murdered in the Columbine school shooting):
Since that day, I tried to answer the question why did this happen? This country is in a moral free fall. For over two generations, the public school system has taught in a moral vacuum, expelling God from the school and from the government, replacing Him with evolution, where the strong kill the weak without moral consequences. And life has no inherent value.
We teach there are no absolutes, no right or wrong. And I assure you, the murder of innocent children is always wrong, including by abortion.
Abortion has diminished the value of children. Suicide has become an acceptable action and has further emboldened these criminals. And we are seeing an epidemic increase in murder/suicide attacks on our children.
Sadly, our schools are not safe. In fact, we now witness that within our schools, our children have become a target of terrorists from within the United States.
Will someone tell me how valuing human life is repugnant? I strongly believe and find evidence everyday of the fact that evolution occurred, and so I strongly disagree with Mr. Rohrbough that evolution should not be taught. I do not agree that teaching evolution devalues human life. I believe evolution gave us human life as we know it. I am also pro-choice, but I understand why many people are not. Still, I clearly understand the fact that while my beliefs are polar to Mr. Rohrbough's, it does not make Mr. Rohrboughs beliefs repugnant. Rabid muslim extremists slaughtering innocents is repugnant. The baptists who protest funerals with the twisted belief that all bad things happen because gay people exist is repugnant.
But it simply cannot be "repugnant" to try to find answers for the reasons that children seem to be the number one target against which the insane are exacting their demented visions of revenge and rage. It is not repugnant to wonder: If our high schoolers were taught day in and day out "Thou Shalt Not Kill" instead of "you shouldn't judge people", might these scenes of carnage not have taken place? What left-wing powder puff finds such thoughts "repugnant"?
Both the left and the right have the presumption of owning the moral high. However, the left criticize and mocks the right for doing it because the left is so certain their stance really is the correct one and all others are utterly invalid, at best, flat out evil at worst. I have a news flash...you should have stopped believing that you know everything as soon as there was no -teen in the latter half of your age spelled out in letters. You should have learned by now that no human, NO human, has all the answers nor the key to the correct way the Earth should exist. And you should live by your own tolerance mantras to be TOLERANT of differing viewpoints, not repulsed. When the right wingers start tossing babies into the volcanoes to ease God's wrath, then you can be repulsed. But not until then. And shoot, maybe even then you might find your multiculturalism could not shun such a practice...Mr. Rohrbough is right about this part; anything goes in LiberalLand, except conservative beliefs.
Posted by Michela at 01:12 PM | Comments (4)
October 05, 2006
The Dems are proud...they've outed a gay guy
One of the things that seems quite laughable by the righteously indignant stance of the Democrats during this so-called Republican "crisis" is that it centers around a gay man who probably broke no laws (as the age of consent in Washington DC is 16). Therefore, this scandal has served merely to force a gay man out of the closet for no reason other than political bloodshed. Were the same thing to have occurred with a Democrat, those powder puff girls would have screamed endlessly over the "smear campaign" and the "witch hunt."
AND, let's NOT forget the Monica Lewinsky scandal of the century; Clinton actually bonked her (although husbands all over America were thrilled to learn oral sex is not technically bonking so Clinton--and said husbands--should get a free pass on that basis alone). I quite clearly remember an interview where the Madonna herself said that Clinton should absolutely not be considered a criminal "for having sex." As if lying under oath about sexual harassment--created and advocated and shoved down all our throats like Clinton's weenie in Monica's mouth by those same damn liberals--is just "having sex."
Based on that liberal premise alone, a premise and an assertion quite popular at the time, Mr. Foley should not be considered a criminal for talking about sex! As all indications are that's all he did.
Now whether or not he deceived his voter base with some family values bullshit, I don't know; I'm not from Florida, thank God and Country. However, MWB is ecstatic to have yet another entry in the "Florida Fun" category so soon!!!! (Click --> Here <-- to go read more Florida Fun.)
Posted by Michela at 11:12 AM | Comments (0)
October 03, 2006
Team America!
Yesterday, two Americans won the Nobel Prize for Medicine for discovering how to turn genes on and off. This discovery seems certain to lead to the way we can turn off the genes in cells that cause disease (thus stopping the disease process).
Today, two Americans won the Nobel Prize for Physics. Makes me wonder... if Americans are so damn smart (which they obviously can be) who are all those idiots who still write checks at the grocery store?
Posted by Michela at 10:47 AM | Comments (4)
October 02, 2006
Fabulous quote of the day
From Randall Warner, Republican farmer in Kansas:
Stick a Republican and a Democrat in a sack, shake it up, pour it out, and the same rapacious thing crawls out. Creatures from a smoke-filled room.
Posted by Michela at 08:55 AM | Comments (0)