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May 30, 2006
Fabulous Quote of the Day
"Good thing they don't play with bowling balls!"
So says a sub-triple digit IQ'd teen sitting behind me at the baseball game this evening after a foul ball soared over our heads.
"If they did, we'd be dead right now!"
Honey, if they played with bowling balls, all the players would be dead right now. Let's not even talk about that silly wittle topic called "physics" either. It would give her a headache just to pronounce the word...
Posted by Michela at 11:03 PM | Comments (10)
May 24, 2006
We're all gonna starve to death...ur, we're too fat. Starving again!
In 1970, Paul Ehrlich told Life magazine:
Population will inevitably and completely outstrip whatever small increases in food supplies we make...The death rate will increase until at least 100-200 million people per year will be starving to death during the next ten years.
I'm no math wiz, but it's been 26 years since the mass starve-off should have begun, and we're all fatter than ever. The UN, WHO, and other nanny-state bureaucracies are calling obesity the world's next epidemic. Huh??
But fear not my independent-minded friends, just like little Carol Ann says in Poltergeist, theeeeyyyy'rrreee baa-aaaack!
We're all in imminent danger of starving to death again. Right along with the dire predictions of global warming, nobody goes back and calls the leftist freakshows on their predictions--predictions SOO far off as to be laughable by any estimation.
These whackos are clearly no different than the schizoid end-of-the-world Christians, who, by the way, leftists just love to mock. Thou doth protest too much never rang so true.
So doubt me all you want about starvation; we're pouring more food down the drains and getting fatter by the day anyway. And global warming just might free up Greenland to farm on again, just like we did 1,000 years ago, further expanding our food production capabilities. You're kidding yourselves, leftist frikiwikis if you think any but the most FUBAR nations will go hungry in this lifetime. And let's face it, how many "Feed the Worlds" later do you need to see that some people are beyond saving--or salvation.
Posted by Michela at 08:00 AM | Comments (6)
May 23, 2006
Go see this site!
Click here to see all about it
MWB rarely posts about just a website, there are 50 trillion of them so commenting on one or two seems a bit futile. But this is a site after Marla and Michela's own hearts! Meet DisgruntledHousewife.com... it's a blog, but has lots of content and very funny commentary. Here's a sample from the editorial about Downey fabric softener (click here to --> read in its entirety):
I've gotten a few angry letters about how someone's Downy Ball released too early and ruined their clothes and it's all my fault. If you're a spaz and don't think you can operate the Downy ball properly, or if your clothes are particularly dainty, don't use it. Either way, it's not my fault, so leave me alone and bitch at Procter & Gamble. Now that I have fancy new washing machine, I don't need to truck with you plebes without built-in fabric softener dispensers, so I can't relate to your (allegedly) faulty Downy Ball plight.
Either Marla or Michela could have written that one, and so don't we just love it!
Posted by Michela at 08:00 AM | Comments (0)
May 22, 2006
Talk about milking your 15 minutes...
William Hung, the guy whose American Idol audition--performing a rendition of Ricky Martin's "She Bangs" (a laughable song title from gayboy Ricky...unless the "She" is a "He" in the "She" position) was famously re-played, discussed, mocked, and cheered. Two years later he is still getting mileage outta that freakish display...he's just been crowned the Artichoke King in Castroville (you read that right), California. Now, everyone, there's a joke in THAT one for SURE. Let's have 'em!
Posted by Michela at 06:43 PM | Comments (3)
May 20, 2006
And this just takes the wussy cake!
Holy crap. Right on the heels of hearing that Iran is preparing to identify and almost certainly slaughter its Jewish inhabitants, I find this article. The pussy EU says, in its best baby voice:
"Oh, big bad United States, we haff to make Iwan happwee. Pweeze sell them some of yor nice bwig pwanes. We need to make Iran happwee and placate them and kiss their big bad boootsies, so pweeze purty pweeze?"
Are you fucking kidding me? Do those EU whackadoos run around with daisies more pink thank Fernando's collar shoved way up their bootays all day or just on Tuesdays?
Posted by Michela at 08:00 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
May 19, 2006
What happened to "Never Again"?
"Never Again" really means "Never again, unless we decide it's okay." From the slaughter in the Sudan that the UN claims is not genocide, to the proclamation described in this article that all non-Muslims must identify themselves by cloth strips on their clothing in Iran, the UN does absolutely NOTHING. And the liberal US media has said absolutely NOTHING about this. With the holocaust just one generation behind us, this blind eye is unconscionable, but not surprising. The liberal media and its cohorts would love nothing more than to pretend the only evile villian on this planet is American.
This should be the front page news on Fox, CNN, MSNBC, Reuters. NOTHING!
Now the world can just sit back and wait for the President of Iran to start murdering the 25,000 Jews who inhabit Iran. And certainly that won't be genocide, as the UN will decide it is not. Liberal Jews who have made hatred of the US and the Western World their mission will stand by and contribute to this slaughter by saying nothing and doing even less. God forbid those Hollywood and media liberals critique people "of color"--even if their life's mission is to slaughter your brethren.
Posted by Michela at 01:00 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
First of all, she can get in line. Second of all....
...who gives a rats patootie what Susan Sarandan, a Follywood movie star, thinks about who's running for president? Not I said the green mouse! But there she goes, telling a British TV station that she is not "enthused" about a Hillbilly Clinton presidential run. Like I said Sooz, get in line; there are about 200 million people who agree.
Posted by Michela at 08:00 AM
May 18, 2006
Fabulous Quotes of the Day
Los Angeles radio host Bill Handel (and his news team) on KFI AM 640, on the break-up of Paul McCartney and his amputee wife, Heather Mills:
"Paul's friends knows why they are splitting, but Heather is stumped."
and
"Paul is taking the break-up well, but Heather is hopping mad."
and
"She won't have a leg to stand on in the divorce."
and
"Heather is so upset; she doesn't have anyone to lean on."
Mercy me, that's some funny shit!
Posted by Michela at 12:11 PM | Comments (2)
May 17, 2006
Another brilliant conclusion from a study that didn't need to be done
Lesbian brains are different from heterosexual female brains. Did we really need a study for that? I could have told these researchers that for half the price!
Posted by Michela at 05:00 PM | Comments (5)
May 05, 2006
Don't Breed or Buy while shelter animals die
This is an issue close to Michela's heart. Having adopted nearly every dog I've ever had from a local shelter, and been rewarded in spades with a happy, healthy, wonderful puppy dog, it sickens me to think of people who propagate the pure-bred dog industry. The results are discussed in this article, and they're disgusting.
Puppies are taped to speaker boxes, strapped to the underneath of car seats, crammed into boxes, and smuggled across the US/Mexican border in hot cars. They're bred in horrific conditions, and shipped across the country by heartless, ignorant buyers on the internet.
How can anyone with a conscience buy a dog? The likelihood of the source being some idiot who bred animals in family lines that are too close is big enough; you're still going to get birth defects. That's nearly your best-case scenario. In the worst-case, your new dog comes from a puppy farm, or a Mexican street breeder, and had a brief life that would pass for a horror movie, like the article says, if only the poor doggies could talk.
So when you get a dog, and you end up with large vet bills and a broken heart, you got what you deserved. Too bad the doggie got what he got, and deserved nothing of the sort.
Posted by Michela at 06:06 PM | Comments (28)
Why people like the death penalty
Michela of MWB is no death penalty supporter; you could even say that she is opposed enough to be labeled an anti-death penalty "activist." We try to reserve that title for shrill idiots such as Mike Farrell, a winner of the elusive MWB Movie Star P-Fer award.
However, my reasons are quite different from the average Farrell-style fools. I just happen to believe that the system is set up to be corrupt enough to send people to the death penalty when completely innocent (The Hurricane was a movie and a true story; and in the South, not uncommon enough). I also think the media parades which mobilize around these murdering idiots give them attention and sympathy they absolutely do not deserve. I find it a much better punishment to let these brutal killers die in oblivion. Would any sucker have bought a Tookie book if he were just another anonymous lifer?
But here's a story, brought to us by www.PardonMyEnglish.com, which shows us that one of the most brutal killers of our time, the BTK killer, has all sorts of priveleges you and I would not have on a daily basis; lounging around in his cell, drawing, reading, watching TV. That's a life me, Michela, wouldn't mind on an average week.
When you see such an injustice, it makes you think, hmm, maybe we should be offing these rats--preferably very slowly on a giant sticky rat trap with poisoned cheese within arms reach. The man was just convicted of torture and murder and within the year he's got a TV in his cell? It makes my anti-death penalty stance hard to stand by, and it's an outrage.
Posted by Michela at 08:52 AM | Comments (0)
May 04, 2006
What the Bleethe is that
One of the hottest chicks ever to live, babewatch alum Yasmin Bleeth, has had a couple of drug and alcohol-induced police enounters. Instead of the laughable anti-drug campaign which showed an egg in a frying with the ominus voice saying: "This is your brain." Then: "This is your brain on drugs."
They could have cut all drug use in half, at least, with:
"This is Yasmin..."
And:
"This is Yasmin on drugs..."
Before you email me, yes I know this is old news (2002-2003) but I couldn't resist commentary on Yasmin's DUI (coke and alcohol) arrest mug, which I just saw.
Posted by Michela at 04:26 PM | Comments (5)
YUCK!
How could an RN purposefully fail to sterilize surgical instruments? How about performing a few surgerys on her splayed open stomach with unsterilized instruments, see how she likes it! How cuh-reepy!!!
Posted by Michela at 12:56 PM | Comments (1)
May 03, 2006
The Dixie Bitches are at it again
The Dixie Bitches are so self-important and ridiculous at the same time. We all remember how they tried to create some sort of a sistahood with a European audience, and so they pronounced to their crowd something like “you know we’re ashamed the president comes from Texas [like we do].” Gee, Dixie Geniuses, in spite of how much we Americans are mocked over our geography ignorance, try asking a European to point to Texas on a map. They would probably point at California.
Regardless, they’re at it again. They have the nerve to mock Buddy Holly, one of the greatest rock and roll stars in the history of rock and roll, in a song on their new album:
"I hear they hate me now
Just like they hated you.
Maybe when I'm dead and gone
I'm gonna get a statue, too."
Buddy Holly, like the Dixie Bitches, is from Lubbock and, unlike the Dixie Bitches, has a statue in downtown Lubbock. The only difference? When the Dixie Bitches are dead and gone, hardly anyone will care.
Still, Buddy Holly’s brother Travis responds:
"He was loyal to his hometown, his church and his family. And I never knew of anyone who hated Buddy."
And the Dixie Genius Bitches say the song...
"...is not just about Lubbock, but about any small, hypocritical town."
And I guess the Dixie Bitches get to decide what small, hypocritical towns are all about, and I wonder what a hypocritical “town” is, anyway. What the hell is a hypocritical town? And how having a statue of Buddy Holly in Lubbock is hypocritical is a mystery to me.
Buddy Holly fans are still here, fascinated by and adoring of Buddy, even with a career cut so tragically short by that infamous plane crash. I say we try an experiment; let’s kill all the Dixie Bitches off, and see if anyone gives a rat’s ass about them 50 years from now. I’d bet you $100 the answer is “NO”...even 5 years from now.
Posted by Michela at 12:45 PM | Comments (6)