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February 13, 2006

Did the Anaheim PD go to the Acme School of Traffic Management?

The traffic control for Mighty Ducks hockey games, as administered by the Anaheim Police Department, is just about the least efficient cluster fuck you have ever seen this side of Boston's Big Dig. The design is the embodiment of they-couldn't-make-it-worse-if-they-tried. But then again, what would you expect from city government employees. And oy vay, I should be careful not to utter such words, as the Anaheim PD Traffic Management Supervisor II (just a guess at the title of the lowly clerk who implemented this scheme) might take them as fightin' words.

The diabolical Traffic Management Supervisor II wrings his hands in his dusty cubicle in the sub-basement records storage area.

"I know! Instead of blocking all lanes in one direction, I'll block them all! Hahahahaaaaaa! That'll show those meddling redheads just who they're messing with! Hahahaha!"

With the pound of the spinning date rubber stamp on the Canary=Bureaucratic Paperwork Bin and a scrawl of the illegible supervisor signature on the White=Bureaucratic File Cabinet, his terrible scheme was put into motion. While his cackle could be heard for miles, everyone thought it was just a crow in the final throes of West Nile Virus. Little did Mighty Ducks fans know the traffic nightmare that was lying in store for them in the next home game...

Posted by Michela at February 13, 2006 11:49 AM

Comments

hilarious! although i must correct you. the white copy is for the inept PD site supervisor, the blue is for the bureaucratic file cabinet, and the goldenrod is for the bureaucratic paperwork bin. "the green zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. there is no parking in the red zone, and no, i don't want you to get an abortion..."

Posted by: david at February 13, 2006 01:19 PM

For the love of Allah Michela you've really lost your mind now, haven't you.

Posted by: Mostafa the Afghan at February 13, 2006 02:15 PM

If I know Michele, she spat on the cop that had the nerve to hinder her leadfoot, dared him to arrest her, and demanded his "Traffic Management Supervisor II" 's name, phone number, and serial number to report him to the slowed down humanity for a minute police.

Posted by: pinko at February 13, 2006 04:54 PM

Well if my Mommy hadn't been with me, I just mighta' done dat!

Posted by: Michela at February 14, 2006 04:09 PM

i think they all should be drug tested...

Posted by: oh, i ganja at February 16, 2006 10:12 AM

I think they all just need to use drugs in the first place. Then michela's story would go something like "the lsd-induced hallucinations cauesd the diabolical traffic supervisor to point traffic directly to the freeway on-ramp, much to his utter dismay the day after."

Posted by: pinko at February 16, 2006 03:27 PM

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