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September 30, 2005
Whackadoo quote of the day
Former Education Secretary William Bennett was trying to make some point, we think, but the only point made clear to us is the white-sheeted conehead he must be wearing when he rides around at night thinking up such utterly inconceivable nonsense.
"If you wanted to reduce crime, you could -- if that were your sole purpose -- you could abort every black baby in this country and your crime rate would go down.
That would be an impossibly ridiculous and morally reprehensible thing to do, but your crime rate would go down."
And our blood pressure would go down if we didn't have to roll our eyes and fall over backwards when idiots spew such drivel. Unfortunately, with the Bennett's of the world out there, that's as unlikely to happen as is his "impossibly ridiculous" (to say the least) proposal. As if, as IF it were even true were it to happen! I think if you aborted all white babies crime would also go down, as the 16-24 year-old teenage males (the vast majority of criminals) aged into senility. Crime would go down then, too.
Posted by Michela at 10:42 AM | Comments (3)
September 29, 2005
Hard to feel too bad about this one
Cruel and heartless, and no bow hunting is not a death penalty offense (which MWB doesn't support anyway) but it's hard to feel bad about someone who gets shot by another hunter while they themselves are bow hunting.
Posted by Michela at 01:22 PM | Comments (3)
September 28, 2005
It's my birthday
And I won't post if I don't want to
Posted by Michela at 10:00 AM | Comments (3)
September 24, 2005
Hey Kids, Get Your Jesus Action Figures Now!
Pinko brings us a whole new Jesus marketplace...
Pinko and I particularly enjoy the Kid-Tackles-Jesus figurine. Is this a metaphor for all spirtual pursuits? Or, could it be, just the ultimate in tacky kitsch? Wouldn't you pay 20 bucks to see a picture of just one person who orders this garbage?
Posted by Michela at 09:00 AM | Comments (2)
September 23, 2005
Whaddya expect from Socialist Jets
When you let winemaking whiners manufacture jetliners, the results are quite predictable. Apparently JetBleu's entire fleet is comprised of Airbuses. Maybe we should call them Pepe Le JetPew.
Posted by Michela at 12:36 AM | Comments (0)
September 21, 2005
Whackadoo Quote of the Day
Guy Ritchie says that the scathing criticism of his latest god-awful movie doesn't bother him:
"...critics have been harsh all the way through my career but it doesn't affect me..."
Maybe that's why he does not learn from his mistakes. And uh, I think the critics started when not all the way at the beginning, but the day Madonna sucked the lifeblood out of him and wrecked his creativity. Danielle Steele could have written and directed a better Swept Away.
Posted by Michela at 08:21 AM | Comments (1)
Careful what you ask for
When you complain to the city to get your neighbor to mow his lawn, you might get a grass topiary you didn't expect.
Posted by Michela at 08:17 AM | Comments (1)
September 20, 2005
Gotti gittin' off
Junior Soprano's trial is just a bit too close to home. Can we spell
"j-u-r-y t-a-m-p-e-r-i-n-g" kids?
Posted by Michela at 10:00 AM | Comments (1)
September 12, 2005
Bush is accountable for this one
There's just no reason for a guy with a fraudulent resume to have passed any screenings for becoming the Chief of FEMA. Bush and his aides truly blew this one, a strong statement coming from someone who hates the left more than she hates flesh eating bacteria (actually, they're one in the same). So to give the pink ladies of the left any of their own ammo just pains MWB. But alas, unlike the pink ladies to the left of un-manicured left hands, we admit defeat more readily than the French army when we know we're wrong. And here, Bush was just plain wrong.
Posted by Michela at 04:35 PM | Comments (1)
September 09, 2005
Fewer Deaths than a French Nursing Home in August
The world has pointed their stinky little fingers at the US of A regarding this disaster. Los Angeles radio station KFI has people on site back east and they report that the foreign media (French, Italian, German) are putting mics in people's faces saying "Zow, vhere is zee blame? All zees deths und sahdness..." They can't help but relish in our disaster, since it happened during a Republican president's term.
However, it looks like the "deths" will be few, very few. Fewer than the tens of thousands who perished in something as harmless as a heat wave in France. Not a hurricane, not a Tsunami, not an earthquake. But a heat wave. Read all about that one.
I guess the pluck of the citizens of the US of A stands, doesn't it.
Posted by Michela at 10:14 AM | Comments (0)
Fabulous Quote of the Day
Marla and I were discussing the apparent and rampant trend for males and females to fall apart after 30, kids or no kids. Says Marla:
"These people didn't just hit the wall, it looks like they hit the wall, went back through the wall, in fact, it looks like they're just going back and forth through the wall!"
I haven't laughed so hard with a sore throat in all my life.
Posted by Michela at 09:00 AM | Comments (9)
September 08, 2005
Bah! Raiders start their slow death early
MWB can't help but glow in the slow burn of the funeral pyre of the Raiders football team in the first game of the season (the treasured and rare Thursday night NFL game). They are proof positive that NFL teams cannot be bought. That screwball owners can screw-up the team. And that no matter what, MWB be Raider Haters (go Chargers)!
Posted by Michela at 08:51 PM | Comments (6)
Those crazy Irish...
In search of the reason Irish youth have been killing each other over a dark, freezing Island for 2000 years, Dublin researchers have found changes in teen brains that may cause all their troubles.
Posted by Michela at 08:51 AM | Comments (1)
September 07, 2005
Bye bye Bob Denver
An icon of my childhood, the mere mention of Gilligan's Island and the death of Bob Denver puts me in a certain mood. It sounds sappy but really I was kind of a bitchy little kid and I rememeber all the scraps and laughs we had, with GI re-runs playing in the background. Sis and I were bonded over this shit (Family Affair, Bewitched, Brady Bunch, Partridge Family, I dream of Jeannie, blah blah). Barbara Eden is gone, Elizabeth Montgomery is gone, Dick York is gone, Jonas Grumby is gone, Jim Backus is gone. They're just about all gone. When the Brady Kids start knocking off, it's all over! (The total wipeout of the Family Affair cast just doesn't count. They were dead before we thought about getting old.)
Posted by Michela at 06:57 AM | Comments (3)
September 06, 2005
Gag me with a Hag-fork
With the final tallies still far off, with the rescues still taking place, with human beings displaced from their homes and still living in sports arenas, Hillbilly Hag Extraordinaire is calling for a 9-11 like probe of this disaster.
First, there's no doubt there were huge issues with the response. But there's enough blame to go around. Plenty.
Something the pink ladies of the liberal media are not discussing is that New Orleans didn't follow its own emergency evacuation procedures. Second, the citizens facing these dire conditions did not leave New Orleans when they should have. Third, when the hurricane veered away from New Orleans, it seemed the threat was gone. In a few short hours, the breaking of the levee changed that scenario dramatically and quickly. Fourth, much of the human suffering was caused by the animalistic behavior of the people who stayed behind (intentionally, you recall).
These factors, much, much more than any of Bush's failings, are the primary reason the human suffering reached the extent that it did. And finally, BUSH is NOT the government. The government is a combination of local, state, and federal bodies which include Senates and Houses of Representatives. I do not recall seeing Hillbilly Hagariffic pontificating in front of TV Cams before her exploitation-of-the-moment light bulb went on.
Does everyone forget how she lied about her hideously ugly daughter's not-so-close brush with 9-11 to gain sympathy? She's so hagariffic, I cannot even write these words without gaining 12 points in my blood pressure.
Posted by Michela at 08:25 PM | Comments (1)
September 04, 2005
More than a Rant, a Huge Bitch
This big, botox-deep frown line goes out to all makers of all mobile telephones in the United States of America. The manufacturers are ignoring and continuing an evile design flaw which has surely destroyed lives. Yes, lives!
That flaw is...! It is that in non-flip phones, "locking" the keys doesn't mean the keys are "locked." The phone can still be accidentally answered by the unwitting holder of the phone. It's evile!
Consider a recent Dr. Laura phone call... the woman called to tell Dr. L that she had overheard her husband on a date with another woman. Worse, he complaining about his wife (her!) to this woman! Dr. Laura was quite puzzled. "How did you hear this?" The woman explained that she simply called her husband, and the phone answered (even though he did not say "hello?") and the line was held open for the entire date while the angry Mrs. listened. Dr. L just didn't understand how this could have been and only barely seemed to believe what the woman said but finally took it at face value.
Ahh, MWB understands what happened. The keys were "locked." The phone was in his pocket, probably on silent. He probably shifted one millimeter to pick up his salad fork and voila! The phone answered! And NOW the goddamn cell phones keys are locked and so it doesn't disconnect, and his wife can hear everything.
So I say, to hell will go the cell phone designers who allow this to continue. So I say, buyer beware! Especially those up to some nefarious behaviors... your cell phone in your briefcase, pocket, purse, or car can shift while it's ringing with keys locked and answer itself. Demand change! Call your provider!
Posted by Michela at 09:00 AM | Comments (4)
September 03, 2005
Free Citizens Unite!
Baby Brett Affleck brings us an article and shame on FoxNews.com for not carrying this, but it does go to show that CNN doesn't have the lock and stock on leftwing whacknut leanings.
A massacre in Walmart was averted by a legally purchased, registered, and concealed weapon carried by a law-abiding citizen. This man should get Man of the Year. This should have been BIG news. I guess the leftwing whacknuts only care when many children are murdered (it keeps the population down and serves their goal of eliminating humans from their prized planet earth).
Posted by Michela at 08:00 AM | Comments (0)
September 02, 2005
Addicted to the Crackpipe of Blame
Okay MWB Mistress of the Blogworld Michela cannot avoid another small commentary on the hurricane. The leftists have peeled themselves off their grimy, tacky wallpapered walls (paint is bad for the environment) from every corner of their narrow-minded little worlds to blame this hurricane on the "global warming" (you mean, the current weather conditions?).
They have said made back-handed comments that the USA "deserved" this for not signing Kyoto, or that it was due to that grand karmic equalizer in the sky, for not having signed Kyoto.
Simpletons of the world, read on.
"Global warming", the way you describe it, is faaaaaaaaarrr from a settled scientific fact. Here are the disputes:
1. One volcanic eruption spews more carbon gases into the atmosphere than 10,000,000 SUVs if they drove for 10,000 years. So the current "global warming" is far more likely to have been caused by volcanic activity than mere little humans in the US of A.
2. The most generous estimates of Kyoto say that if all meaasures were taken, the earth's temperature average will be reduced by 2 degrees. I saw the March of the Penguins. Does anyone think that those poor little penguins couldn't use a degree or two shaved off to ease their suffering? Hmmm? -80 to -70, even, would be quite nice for those little penguin guys and gals. Not thinkin', though, that -80 to -78 will much help.
3. Then, there's the fact that Kyoto lets third world cesspool nations spew as much shit into the air as they want. So, what is little ol' US of A supposed to do to counter all that damage? Hmm?
4. Lets go back a millenia or so, when they could farm on Greenland. So, what American SUV caused THAT global warming. Hmm? What about the flood of Noah's day. Hmmm?
Fuck all you pinko shitbags who would use this horrible incident, or the tsunami, or any other perfectly natural disaster to assert your political gain. When the Repubs blamed gays and monkey bonkers for bringing HIV to the human race, they were less far off than left wing whackjobs saying that Tailand deserveed a tsunami to clear out the hotels which were wrecking the pristine land.
Posted by Michela at 11:04 AM | Comments (1105)
Random Rants Vol V
--Package engineering buffoons who make the packages of anything that gets sealed into a plastic box impossible to open without multiple sets of tools. I shudder for the day when I am too old to apply 600 pounds of force to get those packages open.
--A huge, wrinkly, botox-bound frown line to hair stylists who cannot cut a straight line. I know I have fairly wavy (to curly) hair, but it does comb straight when wet. So why can't crackheads who just do that---cut hair all day, day in, day out, 5 to 6 days a week---why can't they cut my hair into a straight line. There has only been one hair stylist in the history of the universe who has been able to achieve this simple goal. He's so wonderful and I miss him so much (I moved 100 miles away and I'm still tempted to drive there for a hair cut!). Here is his number if you are in San Diego, go see Edward. The best hair cutter ever born.
Edward at Salon Tonic, downtown San Diego:(619) 232-3721
Posted by Michela at 07:00 AM | Comments (3)
September 01, 2005
Hurricane
Everyone is emailing me (the myriad of MWB fans) about the hurricane; why am I not blogging about it; what about the potshots being taken at rescue workers. Sorry fans, MWB is going to be a respite from that horror, save for the humorous pic of the Voodoo store awning sitting on the ground. News outlets such as FoxNews.com, CNN.com, Reuters.com, MSNBC.com, ABCNews.com can do a far better job.
RE: The shootings. I say, shoot back. With bigger guns. We don't hold back with the can of Raid when we see a cockroach, why hold back here. People need rescuing and so eliminate the cockroaches preventing that. It's simple.
Posted by Michela at 09:18 AM | Comments (2)
MWB Picks: Super Duper Cool Home Office Furnishings
One of the hardest things to find is very cool home office furniture. The good desks are usually either these powder coated steel cubicle reject looking things, or something from the latest over-priced Ethan Allen "Goombah Gaudy" Collection, worthy of Carmelo Soprano's dining room.
To the rescue? Plummers Home Furnishings, a fairly decent collection of german cool with the posh of a New York City loft. But even better and with a much larger selection is a catalogue company, Topdeq. Visit both:
www.plummers.com
www.Topdeq.com
Posted by Michela at 08:00 AM | Comments (0)