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# Sunday, September 04, 2005
This big, botox-deep frown line goes out to all makers of all mobile telephones in the United States of America. The manufacturers are ignoring and continuing an evile design flaw which has surely destroyed lives. Yes, lives! That flaw is...! It is that in non-flip phones, "locking" the keys doesn't mean the keys are "locked." The phone can still be accidentally answered by the unwitting holder of the phone. It's evile! Consider a recent Dr. Laura phone call... the woman called to tell Dr. L that she had overheard her husband on a date with another woman. Worse, he complaining about his wife (her!) to this woman! Dr. Laura was quite puzzled. "How did you hear this?" The woman explained that she simply called her husband, and the phone answered (even though he did not say "hello?") and the line was held open for the entire date while the angry Mrs. listened. Dr. L just didn't understand how this could have been and only barely seemed to believe what the woman said but finally took it at face value. Ahh, MWB understands what happened. The keys were "locked." The phone was in his pocket, probably on silent. He probably shifted one millimeter to pick up his salad fork and voila! The phone answered! And NOW the goddamn cell phones keys are locked and so it doesn't disconnect, and his wife can hear everything. So I say, to hell will go the cell phone designers who allow this to continue. So I say, buyer beware! Especially those up to some nefarious behaviors... your cell phone in your briefcase, pocket, purse, or car can shift while it's ringing with keys locked and answer itself. Demand change! Call your provider!
Sunday, September 04, 2005 9:00:00 AM (Pacific Daylight Time, UTC-07:00)  #    Comments [4] -
Random Rants
Sunday, September 11, 2005 3:18:19 PM (Pacific Daylight Time, UTC-07:00)
I know someone that this happened to. A sales guy was out of town on business and he was having a few at the hotel bar. His wife calls (he was unaware) and she hears him say: "You know, sex on the beach? Do you like sex on the beach?" Of course we all know how that can be interpreted. The wife knows what a shameless flirt the husband is (after all, he is in sales), and she writes it off as another stupid thing her husband did. Lucky for him she was so forgiving.
Marla
Wednesday, September 21, 2005 8:21:13 AM (Pacific Daylight Time, UTC-07:00)
Many, if only it WERE so easy to order up sex on the beach
Michela
Thursday, September 22, 2005 12:51:50 AM (Pacific Daylight Time, UTC-07:00)
That was a satisfying read. Excellent job.

Hey, maybe we should market a faux-flip facade for non-flip phones. It could just be some sort of snap-on attachment. It will serve a practical purpose for people like you and me, and for the masses that don't care about security, they'll love it too since it represents yet another useless accessory "mod" for their phone.
Chad
Tuesday, December 20, 2005 2:38:38 PM (Pacific Standard Time, UTC-08:00)
edward cuts my hair too, how random... he is the best. ever.
lisa
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