The Golden Ass by Apuleius is a fabulous piece of Greek literature. The main character, Lucius, is transformed into an ass after he happens upon a town of witches. The story is about Lucius attempting to find a remedy to his ass problem, such as it is. That's about how I'd sum up many of us Americans. Yes, Americans. Americans are unique in the Western world in that we drive everywhere (as opposed to taking public transportation), lead soccer-game fueled frenetic lives, eat lots of pre-prepared foods in fabulous excess, and watch too much television. Before I romanticize our train-loving, Metropolitain-riding European cousines, for the record I was highly amazed how un-put-out Europeans are by having to ride bicycles through Munich in Winter, or by the mud slogging you must to do to catch the Metro in gay Paris...but I digress. Our thighs spread, our frenzied lives become too much, and Desperate Housewives hits too close to home. We start to look for the magic diet pill, anti-depressants, and a different TV Show. What the hell am I rambling on about... I had a talk with a gal having trouble keeping her weight off, and having pain in her neck from "tendonitis due to a PC monitor," which made it even more difficult to exercise. Sounds reasonable, even likely, doesn't it? She was in so much pain she was considering a workers' compensation claim. She then says, "have you seen this show?" and "have you tried netflix?" Mouth shut, me thinks, the neck pain isn't from bizillion hours of weekly TV?I started to tell her how I, coincidentally, had been having a stiff neck. It was completely cured by neck exercises I do in Jiu Jitsu, and she stepped back, aghast... exercise? The look on her face...put my hand in boiling oil? My goodness no; no time for the gym (a gym, for which our company pays 100% of the dues, is in our parking lot). And, she didn't want to worsen the severity of the "injury." This gal is now getting some horse pills from the doctor for the pain, while juggling transportation to her daughter's dance lessons and her son to Pee Wee Football. Once again, mouth shut, but me thinks that the solution to this crazy life is the horse pills, the physical pain... much like Lucius in search of a solution to his ass transformation, that's what we do. The simple solutions are in front of us, and they're simple. But as Golden Lazy Asses, we can't discern our fuzzy lips from our tails. The irony of it is that she is not lazy at all; she runs around like Paul Revere on the eve of the invasion. But rather than refocusing her efforts, she'll hit the horse pills and the simple solution will slip further out of reach.