Read all about it Anyone shocked that the rush to ease the Rich White Guilt of the western world is causing suffering and additional environmental damage? Everyone who's shocked, go ahead, raise your hands. It'll feel cathartic to admit your failure to anticipate the obvious.

My mama was too strict when I was growing up, she overreacted to the smallest of things (like when I tried to bleach my locks blonde but all that did was turn these reddish locks bright orange), and generally drives me crazy even today. But hey, all those things are a mama's job. She has bailed me out of some really tough spots, and I owe her so much. And since she brings me the Italianio side of me, here's a Read all about it for Italian mamas.

Read all about it A 'couple' (how loving they must be) left a developmentally disabled boy bound in a closet for TWO DAYS! while they went away to a family reunion. The boy was only three years old. I want to know about these monsters I keep writing about. Who the hell are they...how the hell did they become so callous and cruel towards the suffering of other human beings. How did two monsters--masquerading as human beings--lose every scintilla of humanity. I have read the story of Dave Pelzer. He suffered abuse at the hands of his psychotic mother for years; his father did nothing to help him. His father did nothing to stop the horrifying torture being committed against his son--his own flesh and blood--by his wife. Mr. Pelzer has grown up to become an admirable human being; he works with children, he has written a number of books that document the series of events in his life, and he speaks at schools and other venues. I wonder how Mr. Pelzer became a human being, while the monsters who would bound a three year old child in a closet for two full days so they could leave the house and have fun did not become human beings. Is there a way to identify monsters in human form who have no soul? Is there a way to protect us from these sociopaths before they wreak havoc on humanity? How is it that these monsters walk amongst us, and the only fucking thing we care about is shutting down football pools and imprisoning pot smokers? How is all this possible? Is this the twilight zone we live in?

The holidays have MWB at a little quiet lately, but another fabulous quote warrants a quick entry. "Frangela", a comedy duo from Los Angeles, responded to Courtney Love's public admonition to Britney Spears. Love said something along the lines of "I didn't go out much before my daughter was a year old." To which "Frangela" replied:

When Courtney Love starts giving you parenting advice, and she's right, you know you're doin' wrong. You've messed up. Yep, you've messed up.

God only knows I try to avoid any story that says word one about Britney Spears and any of the other caggle of sub-zero IQ'd 'stars' like....well never mind you know the list. But this was a precious gem. Courtney Love, drug muddled babbling mother of the year gives sane advice to white trash Spears. Gotta Love (hehehe) that one.

Read all about it While we have set child murderers loose upon our society so that they can murder again (to refresh your memory, click --> Here <-- or --> Here <--), another example of the failure of keeping drugs illegal splashes its ugly face across our headlines. Okay, it's a bit of a stretch to use the fall of this Evangelical Christian man as an argument against criminalized drugs. Then again, is it? After all, here's a pillar of our society, the exemplar extraordinaire of above-par morality and behavior, and he's buying meth (which he didn't inhale, puhleeeze bite me) and diddling a male prostitute (quite good-looking, btw). Isn't this a sign that sending people to prison for using drugs in the privacy of their own homes is just a goddamn waste? That if a person--even a person pursuing a so-called moral life of the highest order--wants to get these drugs not only can they but they will? Aren't our tax dollars better spent keeping murderers in prison forever? Aren't our tax dollars better spent defending and protecting our borders against violent criminals than going after pot smokers? You think that keeping drugs criminalized protects your children? Really? Then how do you explain that we set child murderers free to murder more children while someone carrying a pound of pot has been locked away for life due to federal sentencing guidelines? How do you splain this, Loocy?

CNN has a video news blurb about a twenty year-old Alabama man who sexually assaulted his own mother. Yes, the chuckles could begin if the story wasn't so tragically bizarre. And the bizarro-ness mounts (eh-hem) when you learn, by watching said video blurb, that the attack occurred when said Alabama man entered his mother's trailer and assualted her while she was passed out drunk on the sofa. Okay, to avoid any further stints in Purgatory, Michela is just going to stop right there. Let the comments begin!

Read all about it If only I could file a lawsuit every time I got shitty food and / or service at a restaurant (click -> Here <- to read about one instance), I'd be freekin rich! Unfortunately, the instances where ugly waitresses discriminate against petite hotties do not qualify for a lawsuit. But then again, neither should the restaurant who screwed up and happened to provide shit service to black people. News flash: IT HAPPENS. And, my weenie minded liberal powder puff girls, it is not always discrimination!

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, on the plane crash which claimed anywhere from 1-4 lives (depending on which news report you believe):

We have to say a little prayer for those we lost, the two human beings whose lives were snuffed out.

At first glance, it seems like a nice thing to say, a hey-everyone-lets-pray for those who died; prayer is a very soothing thing in difficult times. But a "little" prayer for those whose lives were "snuffed"? Aye! That's something Billy Jim Bob might say:

Y'all, lits purray fer snuff. I mean, thuh lahves that wuz snuffed.

I've mocked CNN (and other) headlines before, this one takes the cake:

Fake witch doctor shopped WalMart, cops say.

So I guess there's really nothing to worry about, since it was just a fake witch doctor. When the headline says "Real witch doctor takes over WalMart" then we should be scared. When the CNN reporter finds a "real" witch doctor, perhaps they can ask this question (if the real witch doctor is a Republican, you can be rest assured of hard hitting questions of this nature; if the real witch doctor is a Democrat, fuggeddaboutit).

Read all about it Yesterday, two Americans won the Nobel Prize for Medicine for discovering how to turn genes on and off. This discovery seems certain to lead to the way we can turn off the genes in cells that cause disease (thus stopping the disease process). Today, two Americans won the Nobel Prize for Physics. Makes me wonder... if Americans are so damn smart (which they obviously can be) who are all those idiots who still write checks at the grocery store?

Read all about it This is an absolutely fascinating article. It talks about how the moon is drifting away from the earth at about 1.5 inches a year. Okay, what goddamn SUV is causing this! Which capitalist pig! We must stop this, NOW! Our universe isn't supposed to change! Not one inch, not one degree! Humans must intervene to stop this madness! Wait, didn't human intervention cause this? Forget humans intervening. Call in the mules! The elephants! The rhinos! To hell with humans! If you applied the logic of global warming parrots to the movement of the moon, we'd have to get rid of all SUVs and humans and go do something about this shift. But it gets better...according to scientists, probably the same ones who tell us humans are going to destroy the earth if the average temperature rises by 5 friggin degrees (no kidding, this is the worst case scenario the chicken littles can offer), we shall all perish. Those scientists are telling us unless we can push the earth away from the sun, at some point it will incinerate us when it "swells into a red giant." Huh? Earth is going to be cooked to fairy dust by the swelling red giant of a sun and they wanna take away my SUV? Doesn't this mean that it is possible the SUN has changed the heat it sends to earth, even if very subtly, as it prepares to swell into a red giant? Or shouldn't we all just live for today ! mama mia....

Read all about it He's an entertainer and even people with pea brains missing their pods get that. Only Democrats and liberal media outlets seem to think he has a significant impact on the real world. In other news, members of the Kennedy family who actually hold public offices that do significantly impact the lives of ordinary citizens are still drunks and drug addicts, but CNN is not "working to confirm" this fact.

Read all about it More and more people are able to use nurse practitioners instead of doctors for preliminary care. As everyone begins to demand Rolls Royce health care for go kart prices, this option will make more and more (dollars and) sense. Doctors have historically made themselves out to be the holders of the golden medical keys, but this self-made medical myth is proving to be as fictional as Prometheus seeing his liver eaten by a crow every day for all eternity. For example, a recent study found that a computer program which was fed the symptoms of typical illnesses diagnosed the illness correctly >90% of the time. Doctors who were handed these same symptoms and then asked what illness the symptoms described got it right just over 50% of the time. Doctors are people, but they are so far into Egomaniaville that they feel they are impervious to error and everyone else is not. So to continue this philosophy that doctors should be the gatekeepers of all medical treatment is to damn us into emergency room visits for throbbing ear infections that flare up on a Saturday. Creative medical treatments and sources for said care are the cure to the medical care cost crisis.

Read all about it Lesbian brains are different from heterosexual female brains. Did we really need a study for that? I could have told these researchers that for half the price!

Read all about it How could an RN purposefully fail to sterilize surgical instruments? How about performing a few surgerys on her splayed open stomach with unsterilized instruments, see how she likes it! How cuh-reepy!!!

Read all about it This is "beautiful" justice, if ever there were such a thing. A super model bitch-slaps a flight attendant while coming to the US on a special no-visa program will be sent right back on the plane to Amsterdam. Damn! I'm not sure that's just punishment, but since this princess has been sitting in Miami Dade County Jail awaiting her deportment, that's just humiliation. We just like knowing the super beautiful, super rich don't get away with this stuff. Besides, having your pic posted on CNN.com looking like this....

is almost cruel and unusual... but she deserves it, yes she doth! Even MWB in its drunkenest brawls never bitch-slapped a flight attendant, and believe me you, they deserve it sometimes!

Read all about it The FDA has approved medications that cause heart damage (Fen-Fen, Vioxx), medications that relieve symptoms in a very small number of people, medications that cause permanent dizziness, medications that cause liver damage, psychotic episodes, ad naseum (totally intended). But they think medical marijuana has "no sound scientific studies supported medical use of marijuana for treatment in the United States." Have any leaders of the Fucking Dumb Asses looked at the side effects of ibuprofen? Aspirin? ALCOHOL? Who the hell are the Fucking Dumb Asses to tell someone pot doesn't help them at all, and worse, it "adversely impacts concentration and memory, the lungs, motor coordination and the immune system." I'll admit I've never met a pot smoker who was sharp while smoking pot, but try giving an IQ test to someone on Vicodin, morphine, codeine, OxyContin for christ's sake. OxyContin might well be one of the most addictive substances ever created (worse than heroin), with such a dangerous withdrawal that it can only be done safely under medical supervision in a hospital. Further, when said pot smokers weren't smoking pot, they seemed quite sharp and for all intents and purposes, quite functional. Find yourself a regular OxyContin user. Take their drugs away, and try to say the same thing. Fucking Dumb Asses!

Read all about it That's going to make me keel over in full shock. Some bimbo took a job to work in the creative room where the "Friends" sitcom is written and she says the dialog amounted to harrassment against women? What completely illogical nincompoop could have actually thought she had a case there? I hope this cost her kajillions in legal fees, and that her flesh-colored control tops bind her uptight ass so much she stays on the couch--watching Sesame Street (if she can handle the idea that a hand might be up that puppet's ass). And the California Supreme Court correctly ruled against her. I'm still flabbergastermeistered.

Read all about it An entire country has surrendered to a passel of ne'er do wells. I wonder if there was a white flag to be found in all of Frawnce to "mark" the end of labor reforms. They've thrown in so many towels, and they rarely bathe, so my guess is...non!

Read all about it What an absolute travesty that these 'people' can be so deluded by religious grandiosity they are quite content to murder innocent people while they pray. I guarantee this; you start bathing their body parts in pig's blood after they detonate themselves, this will end tomorrow. While unable to verify this just yet, but MWB has read off-hand that homicidal attacks on Jewish schools in Israel ended when they put pigs in the schoolyards. What a simple solution to a grizzly problem caused by maniacal fruitcakes.

Read all about it A dude who spent years as a Sinn Fein leader was really a British spy. And, again, why is anyone "shocked" the Irish tortured and shot him? After all.... "During its 27-year campaign, the IRA's internal security unit tortured scores of IRA members suspected of passing information to British intelligence. Typical IRA methods included applying electric shocks, and administering cigarette burns. Those who admitted informing had their confessions audiotaped before being shot in the head; their bodies were usually dumped -- naked and with hands tied behind their backs -- on rural roadsides."

Read all about it Now maybe I've been watching too much Sopranos, but if you chop a body into bits, there is an awful lot of blood sprayed around. Prosecutors contended this Dominatrix (remember, Sex Sells so we're gonna post a lotta Sex here) chopped a guy--eh hem, a client--up into bits after he had a heart attack during a 'session' (she must be good, eh?). But they found no forensic evidence and didn't videotape her alleged confession AND they kept no notes. This sounds like a tall tale to me. We do give the prosecutor a B+ for effort; he donned the black hood and feigned being tied to a some S&M equipment during the trial. I think he was just a little too comfy in that setting but whatever. Justice was served!

Read all about it Last week at Tookie Monster Williams' funeral, Jesse the Whore Jackson stood at the pulpit and declared that white people don't do anything when the victims are black (Tookie Monster's victims were not black, ergo, the reason for his execution). He said, "We just count the bodies." Well, Jesse the Whore, where are you in Wisconsin, when this wonderful husband, father, and grandfather was beaten so horribly he is barely recognizable? Where is your outrage over the mobs of youths who did this to him? Why are you YOU not castigating the parents who let these wild animals roam the streets and victimize, yes, fellow blacks? You're not counting the bodies of black victims...you don't even bother.

Read all about it Leftist to the max as usual, the standard media is reporting that the Stanley Tookie Monster Williams funeral was just one big fucking love-fest for all walks of life. Rich people, movie stars, Jesse the Whore Jackson (then again he wouldn't miss the opening of a soda can as long as he could get his picture taken). All these walks of life just holding hands, singing kumbaya in "unity" over the loss of a truly inspirational monster. A murderer. It's such bullshit. The Thugs of the Nation of Islam had to break up some gangbangers flashing signs at each other. The police had to keep rival gangs separated. I can't stand it when the media lies. Lies lies lies. The headline link on CNN said "Stars and gangsters unite at Tookie Williams funeral." There was no "uniting"...it was just another day used and abused by media whores like Jackson to stand at a pulpit and make false claims and decidedly divisive remarks. In addition to the street battle, Whore Jackson stood there and stated as fact that blacks are only prosecuted when they kill whites, blacks killing blacks, "nothing" happens says Whore Jackson, we just "count the bodies." That's some Unity they had goin' there today. How could CNN and all the other pinko leftist shitbag media outlets not mention this, nor question, nor counter with valid statistics, such a lie? The only thing these Whores are uniting are sheep. Sheep too lazy to find out the facts for themselves. Sheep too eager to blame their pitiful state in life on Whitie.

Read all about it Hillbilly the Hag Clinton vs. Rudy the 9/11/01 hero Giuliani It'll be like... Tom the Wimp Green vs. Mike Tyson Kirstie the Fat Actress Allie vs. Pam Anderson Al the Bore Gore vs. Howard Stern Bring it ON!

Read all about it But then again, maybe this isn't the best example. The gal survived, and so did her unborn baby. But as soon as you get by that nice touchy feely stuff, dear god, you can read about the fractured pelvis, the missing teeth, the "egg-shelled" facial bones, the 21 steel plates. NO THANKS.

Read all about it 'member all those lessons mom and dad taught ya', like the grass is always greener, and the one we really hated, money can't buy you happiness? I mean, cuz, we were sure if we had a million dollars, our problems would be, like, way over. Well, this couple shows how right mumsie and pops really were. DUI's, drug overdoses...both of the winners of this uber jackpot, dead within five years of winning that 65.4 mil. Know what that looks like spelled out? $65,400,000. And that couldn't buy a DUI lawyer and a stint in drug rehab? Who needs a drivers license for 65 mil; you can buy a lot of taxi rides. And crickey, buy the whole Betty Ford center...but, alas, sanity does not come with instant wealth. Now, Marla and Michela...we would find happiness and spiritual serenity at the golden temple of life ("South Coast Plaza").

Read all about it A great deal of history and architecture in Mississippi and Louisiana has been lost, but they can rebuild it and preserve at least the former, if not the latter. German cities were reconstructed to mirror their pre-allied bombing conditions, architecture, and city plans. When you stroll through Munich, the buildings just ooze Ye Olde Deutschland, and the Germans are proud that they were able to preserve, in a strange sort of way, their histories. This is also what the South must do.

Read all about it What can I say luv. Don't kill the messenger. The headline of the money.CNN.com story is "Southwest boots woman for shirt" with a sub-heading of "Lorrie Heasley to sue for being asked to leave a flight because of her politically charged T-shirt." The first headline is correct, the second just an inflammatory tie-in. But the standard media bias is that the CNN.com link to this story reads "Airline Boots Woman for anti-Bush top" which is totally false. The fucking shirt had the word FUCKERS on it. This had nothing to do with Bush, pro Bush, anti Bush anything. It's all about a woman wearing a shirt that prominently displays the F word, a display that, mind you, money.CNN.com was mindful enough to blur out. Apparently, it's too inflammatory for their website (where nobody under 50 will be on any given day) but according to pinko CNN.com, the shirt should have been allowed on an airplane. At least money.CNN.com had it correct 50%... CNN.com was just, well, CNN.com... biased biased biased.

Read all about it It always makes sense after-the-fact...the boat was filled to maximum capacity, but most victims were in wheelchairs. Wheelchairs are quite heavy so it was probably like having nearly double the occupants. It seems so obvious in review that it doesn't make sense... Plus, a boatfull of people who will not be able to swim (they're in wheelchairs, presumably that means they can't swim, either) if something happens? And no life vests? Notes to selves on future ferry excursions...

Read all about it Cruel and heartless, and no bow hunting is not a death penalty offense (which MWB doesn't support anyway) but it's hard to feel bad about someone who gets shot by another hunter while they themselves are bow hunting.

Read all about it Junior Soprano's trial is just a bit too close to home. Can we spell

"j-u-r-y t-a-m-p-e-r-i-n-g"

kids?

Read all about it The world has pointed their stinky little fingers at the US of A regarding this disaster. Los Angeles radio station KFI has people on site back east and they report that the foreign media (French, Italian, German) are putting mics in people's faces saying "Zow, vhere is zee blame? All zees deths und sahdness..." They can't help but relish in our disaster, since it happened during a Republican president's term. However, it looks like the "deths" will be few, very few. Fewer than the tens of thousands who perished in something as harmless as a heat wave in France. Not a hurricane, not a Tsunami, not an earthquake. But a heat wave. Read all about that one. I guess the pluck of the citizens of the US of A stands, doesn't it.

Read all about it An icon of my childhood, the mere mention of Gilligan's Island and the death of Bob Denver puts me in a certain mood. It sounds sappy but really I was kind of a bitchy little kid and I rememeber all the scraps and laughs we had, with GI re-runs playing in the background. Sis and I were bonded over this shit (Family Affair, Bewitched, Brady Bunch, Partridge Family, I dream of Jeannie, blah blah). Barbara Eden is gone, Elizabeth Montgomery is gone, Dick York is gone, Jonas Grumby is gone, Jim Backus is gone. They're just about all gone. When the Brady Kids start knocking off, it's all over! (The total wipeout of the Family Affair cast just doesn't count. They were dead before we thought about getting old.)

Read all about it A princess in Swaziland was whipped, as were many of her friends, for playing music too loud. And Gloria Steinem will STILL stand there and tell you how patriarchal the United States is, with her Chinese Communist star shirt on. She'd probably hold the girls down for the abuse, if she knew they didn't think the way she thinks (if you call her form of hatred "thinking").

Read all about it Now that Israel has done exactly what the Palestinians have said it will take to stop the murder, the murder begins again. I remember an Iranian friend of mine sending me a series of pictures in which it did appear a Palestinian was shot by Israeli police while his arms were tied around his back. I was one of about 50 on the distribution list. I replied (to all, of course) that maybe, just maybe, one of those Israeli soldiers was the one who tried to help a very old woman after the bombing of a Passover dinner in a restaurant, only to find her legs had been blown completely off. A fact even the old woman hadn't known (she only knew she couldn't get up). The soldier knew she would die and had to set her back down while she watched and begged him to help her. Maybe, just maybe, this is how the recursive murder begins. But I suspect the hatred and horror of daily life in this part of the desert is irreversible. And Israel could give Palestine 12 gigillion dollars in diamonds, gold, and Euros and it wouldn't stop. And the Israelis will continue to respond with like brute force (who would stand for the endless murder of one's loved ones). And so it goes on, forever.

Read all about it The stink frogs are at it again. Having paved the streets of Paris with white flags for the Nazis, Saddam Hussein, and any other scary closet monster, and then failing to produce a stunning stud, one as sparkling and pure and fantabulous as Cowboy Lance, they can only play dirty. Dirtier than the sheets of Vichy-soise government officials. With tests that can't be validated (because there are no more samples), urine samples sitting around for 5 years, the possibility of outright sabotage, it doesn't get any stinkier unless your nose is in the armpit of a Parisian on the Metro in July. Go take a shower you Froglettes and call us in the morning. And can anyone spell "Le Car"?

Read all about It seems such a waste of time to give these sociopaths another pose on their world stages whining "I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." Do we believe it? Do we care even if they are? The death, destruction, misery they have heaped on their victims cannot be erased or soothed by such blather.

Read all about it Somalia is suffering from 14 years of war, child mortality rates which are the worst in the world, starvation, drought, and and and. And where is the UN? Is Kofi still at the ski resort or what? Now, we don't think there's enough money in the whole world to solve Africa's problems, however, if the UN's existence is to prevent and/or solve the problems facing countries like Somalia, then clearly it is a complete failure and should be disbanded. Spend the money on these people, not UN staffers and a very costly New York City HQ.

Read all about it Kids are dying from self-suffocation, and the health department types are trying to convince us that we need to warn kids that they can die suffocating themselves. They gave the same warning over the kids dying from inhalants, and a particularly laughable quote came from an ex-inhalent user; "They never told me not to do this. They just warned me about drugs." Are they kidding? The most basic premise of survival is to breathe; a person who doesn't get that can't be warned. The warning itself would sound like Charlie Brown's teacher to such inconceivably judgement-free brains.

Read all about it This shows why Mexico is so bass-ackwards that little baby children have to beg for handouts and scraps from US tourists at the Tijuana border. This demonstrates that Mexico is so stuck in the quagmire of a previous century that their citizens must escape from the awful-ness of it all by crawling across the border like desperate rats. This explains how Mexico, a nation as rich in natual resources as any nation on the planet, is still so poor it does not have even a 2nd World designation. What is interesting is how much of a pass the liberal media has given Mexico and its leaders over these recent flaps. If anyone in the United States associated with any non-uber-liberal cadre of boobs had said or done anything as stupid as this, they would have been skewered and grilled, shishkabob style.

Read all about it Then what's the point? Stay poor, drive your cheap car. I suppose that's just sour grapes now isn't it...

Read all about it With all the jubilation over the rescued Utah boy scout, his bizarre behavior and actions during the rescue are being gloseed over. His mother says: He had two thoughts going through his head all the time... Toby [his father] always told him that 'If you get lost, stay on the trail.' So he stayed on the trail. We've also told him don't talk to strangers ... when an ATV or horse came by he got off the trail ... when they left, he got back on the trail. Lost for four days, desperately in need of help, he doesn't have the sense to reach out to the rescuers he encounters on the trail. Worse, he is consciously hiding from them, having been taught not to talk to strangers. That he doesn't have enough sense to distinguish between a rescuer who is looking for him in the wilderness and a stranger who will snatch him from the streets of Provo forever, at 11 years old, is totally perplexing. Rewind a few years to another triumphant return, that of Elizabeth Smart. Her reticence to flee her kidnappers, even where it appears she had opportunity to do so, was ascribed to Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe it's whacko Utah kid syndrome... there must be some sort of brainwashing, or Mormon lock-step groupthink, that made these kids completely incapable of dealing with grave circumstances. Neither child showed one scintilla of common sense during their ordeals, which were horrifying. God rest her blessed soul...5 year-old Samantha Runion spoke clearly to her friend "go get my nana!" when grabbed by the monster would kill her; that clear instruction (which her friend followed) resulted in the capture of the vile creature. She kicked, screamed, and fought to the end. Perhaps it's my bias, but to have two kids from Utah who simply melted into their truly dire predicaments with nary a peep is more than coincidence.

Read all about it I don't often excerpt the articles but I'm thinking some CNN editor is going to peel his lips off the crack pipe and remove the lead in to this story... ANCHORAGE, Alaska (Reuters) -- Mountaineers who ascend North America's loftiest peak are often brought down to earth by "virus-laden poo" left behind by previous climbers, a medical report says.
Another reason not to go anywhere; forget the grand canyon. Forget Indonesia. Just stay the f home.

Read all about it A young Australian woman was convicted of drug traffiking in Indonesia and sentenced to decades in Indonesian prison. I'd tender a bet that her chances for justice in Indonesia were worse than my chances in California family court as an employed person against a troll who lives under a bridge (oh, wait, that's uh, a different post). Usually you hear these stories and you slough it off a bit and say, jeezus, what were they thinking trying to bring porn into Saudi Arabia; of course they were going to get their hands chopped off! But I believe this woman was framed by the baggage handlers, and it makes my stomach turn to think of being in prison under these circumstances. I realize this was front page news 2 weeks ago but I would like everyone not to forget the plight of this woman. And big cheers to the Australians who rightly questioned why they were ever so charitable to those ungrateful psychos after the Tsunami. Not a one of them changed their opinion of the mighty United States in spite of the billions we contributed. You can keep updated on her status by going to the following web page: www.freeschapelle.com

Read all about it "Tampla, Fla.--" When Forida is the location of the news story's subject, you can bet it's a grisly event. MWB could create a whole category of "Grisly Florida News" and fill it every single month. Is it the heat? The humidity? Or is it just that it's such a miserable place only the lunatics either go or stay there? But so many of these horrifying, shocking events occur there it might be worthy of a) determining its root causes and b) convincing people Florida should just be formally named the violent fruitloop penal colony it already seems to be.

Read all about it I remember this story from when it happened... But what can you say about a guy who decapitates his best friend while driving drunk... that's about the worst luck I've ever heard in my life, for both of them. See, how many times have we all stuck our heads out a car window, sick after a night of hard drinking. And jeeezus, none of us ever dreamed we'd get our heads chopped off by anyone but our parents. The best part, if you will, is that the driver was so blasted he just drove home, parked, passed out inside, and left the headless body in the car--in the driveway, no less--to be found the next day by some folks on a nice morning stroll. His blood alcohol was only 2 times the limit? That's all it took for this guy to chop his friend's head off without knowing it? It woulda' taken about 7x that amount for Marla and me... Cheers!

Read all about it A man who bludgeoned his girlfriend to death with a cast iron skillet was set free by the parole board in his state after only serving 5 years, brutally murders again, and this is news? It should be a justice system revolution. The parole board states that this is an "unusual case" and that parolees don't "generally" commit crimes of this extreme when set free. Not generally? Gee, I feel safer... Besides, parole board dude, I don't imagine you have a lot of Le Creuset killers to begin with. And the case underscores the greatest injustice of the 20th and 21st centuries; while we have insisted on incarcerating a 19 year-old woman carrying 5 pounds of cocaine for the rest of her life, we'll let a brutal killer walk free in 5 years. I'd have loved to be a fly on the brain of this parole board when they pondered his release..."Gee, I'm sure a homicidal skillet killer can change in 5 years; it's not like he used a gun..." Tell that to his three newest victims, bludgeoned with a claw hammer, strangled, and stomped to death, in that order.

Read all about it A child who was abused so severely that she is now permanently physically and mentally disabled won $26 million from the state of Florida. It seems that when a child is beaten by her parents, or the mother's boyfriend (in this case), the state is liable. The child couldn't walk, and she was taken to a hospital where a tumor was found on her spine. An abuse investigation was opened her collar bone was also found unexplicably broken. Within one month of being released from the hospital she received the devastating beating. If the state takes your kids away because they think you're abusing them, and the state is wrong, the state is responsible (read in dollar signs). If the state doesn't take your kids and you are abusing them, the state is responsible (more dollar signs). The state can't win, the kids are losers regardless, and the taxpayers foot the bill as always. Juries (and liberals in general) forget that the 'state' doesn't sit around printing money all day; it comes from somewhere. And abusers should first and foremost be the parties responsible when these crimes occur; the state's only involvement can--at best--be a stopgap that may or may not stop all the gaps. The number of children in foster care is a staggering figure. How can a massive government bureaucracy possibly identify and help them all... Neither the child nor the adoptive parents have a claim to the state's coffer's and no right to become instant millionaires due to the evil mother and the evil mother's boyfriend.

Read all about it So much focus is on Newsweek for having printed an inflammatory news story based on flimsy or fabricated evidence of wrongdoing at Guantanamo Bay. Of course MediaWatchblog is not surprised that such a story would make it to print in this magazine, no more than we were over CBS' Memogate. This media mis-information has been and will be an issue as long as liberals think the media is unbiased, and as long as media organizations continue to be blindly arrogant with news decisions. But it's blissful to me that the liberal media blindness is now running them over as surely as 94 year-old driving at 2 a.m. In the same way that media leftists have not written that the carnage in Iraq is due to homicidal maniacs, they are simply retreating and not addressing the fact that once again the maniacs are at work. These prehistoric animals have murdered, pillaged, and destroyed city streets over the mere suggestion that their holy book has been desecrated. I wonder what license the leftists would give us when they desecrate our flag, the Christian bible, or our religious symbols by displaying pagan “artwork”--urine soaked religious artifacts--paid for by taxpayers. The violence committed by these 'people' is astounding; they slaughter more human beings than the most notorious serial killer in the history of the western world combined. They are more cruel, heartless, and inhumane than any despot; they simply have limited resources. And yet the media writes about these 'people' as though the had a reason--a valid reason--to murder and maim the way they do. Perhaps the reason they live in abject poverty and misery is that they are barbarians for another time; one more fitting the Crusades than Microsoft. And perhaps that means we should let them all rot in their miserable deserts. I'd walk to work for that cause...

Read all about it Apparently, there's no murder, drunken driving, child molestation, kidnappings, beatings, or any other serious crime in Texas because they have time to pass laws banning cheerleader butt jiggles. And in the State's House of Representatives, no less. Unbelievably, I'm siding with the only sane person quoted in this story: "Democratic state Rep. Senfronia Thompson, also of Houston, said the bill was a waste of valuable time. 'I think the Texas Education Agency has enough to do making sure our kids are better educated, and we are wasting our time with "one two three four, we can't shake it any more?"' Thompson told legislators.

Read all about it Whilst I may chide liberals for taking joy in counting the failures or foibles of a budding Iraqi society (I wrote two blogs on it; one below and another during their historic vote), I must say I'm feeling a little gleeful myself over the fall of a 68-year old woman. Why am I willing to earn yet another millenia in purgatory? She's a Kennedy, and the tag lines are too much to resist... She is found unconscious in the middle of a street, with a broken shoulder and a concussion, she's a Kennedy, and "Details of how...she ended up in the street were unclear." Unclear... she's a Kennedy! "Joan...has struggled with alcoholism." Unclear...perhaps to the Kennedy family but not to anyone else.

Read all about it Now that the insurgents are growing tired of blowing themselves to bits limb by limb only to find another American tank (or newly armored Humvee, as the case may be) lumbering down the street... Now that the Iraqis are growing tired of the killers in their midst being the holders of the Koran, not the US flag... now that the democratic process is finally gluing itself together... what is the only thing on which CNN makes a comment? The "Acrimony" of the Assembly session. I suppose the CNN writers believe the first Continental Congress was just one big tea-drinking love-fest. They do not seem to recall from their history lessons that this new great nation nearly fell apart. Or perhaps the re-written history taught in public schools is clouding their knowledge base. But since we're just a colonial, patriarchal, Indian-killing machine, maybe they're still sore that the USA didn't fall apart, which explains their virtual glee over the spirited debate in the New Iraq. While they kneel at their Euro-worshipping thrones, I'd ask these giddy-at-your-misery pigs whether they noticed that the caucuses of the European Union are not any better. The discussions on human cloning alone are enough to send the Catholic Italians to the exit door. I hope to look back on this historical moment in the Middle East and say, see, crybabies, it was possible to make a democratic nation out of a population of devout Muslims.

Headline for Lou Dobbs' piece last night: "Middle Class under assault!" I'd pay CNN 5 bucks to have the graphic. From the corner of my eye perched on the treadmill at the gym, it looked more like the title of a horror movie than a legitimate news headline (whatever that is). I remember when "A Current Affair" first came on the air (I was about 2 months old...I swear...), it used flashy headlines, poofed 'dos, snappy lead-ins. The journalist illuminati scoffed, scorned, and belittled this cheap foray into news "reporting." Oh the scandal when Gordon Elliott bought a sledge hammer from a West German and gave it to a kid to stage a shot at the Berlin Wall. Clinton learned a lot from that one, when he staged his Normandy Beach introspective, but I digress... From the auspicious aspiration of absolute impartiality (a lofty goal for anything short of a robot), we arrive at "A Current CNN", a news channel that swears impartiality on the holy journalists' bible (which is The Communist Manifesto, by the way), while promoting a fear mongering left wing agenda. Dobbs' "Assault on the middle class!" in red and black letters (was that blood dripping from the "A"?), claims that gas prices, budget deficits, medical costs, will sink the middle class and widen the gap between the rich and middle and poor. Oh puhleeeeeze. We are such a spoiled rotten generation, but we still whine on and on about how the rich is or will be crushing us to poverty. And this is a story that I've heard since I was 10 years old, yet in my own middle class life, let me just take a quick survey of my friends and me... BMWs, big TVs, designer purses, a drawer full of cell phones, good jobs, university educations, nice clothes, food, shelter. Nirvana? I think so... as close as it gets on Planet Earth, I believe. Further, I can take an elevator ride up to the 18th floor of a building overlooking a beautiful bay and have a $7 sandwich and with a million dollar view. I can save some pennies and stay a weekend at a pricey hotel in downtown San Francisco ("W") at a bargain price (thank you Expedia.com). These are luxuries our parents could not enjoy, for many reasons. It was a tougher life for them. The future was dire; California was either going to evaporate in a drought or fall off into the ocean (Water and Power), oil was going to run dry (The Limits to Growth), food was going to run out (The Population Bomb), and we would all be poisoned by the Modern World (Silent Spring). I admire those who were able to get out of bed in the morning and go on with life with the weight of the world’s collapse on their shoulders. Since we have neither starved for food or oil (I'm sure the latter will come but technology will solve it, as it has for the former), since I have not slipped into subsistence, scraping all my pennies not for the "W" but for a bit of dry oatmeal, since we have not all dropped dead at 30 from the poisoned earth (dear God we are even living longer than ever), and since none of the previous wave of these predictions has ever come true, what makes Dobbs think this is the case today? I know not everyone out there has the charmed life I have; but I would bet a few bucks on the fact that no matter how you slice the lucky charm, it's more golden for our generation than it was for our parents. We have more stuff (if anything, our drawback is our slavery to this stuff), we have more food, it's cheaper, and our opportunities are endless. CNN, I challenge you to a half-full cup headline; and I hold you responsible for letting this America wallow in self-pity when we have so much to be grateful for.

Read all about it Those words are: single-engine, two-seat, homebuilt, and airplane Since the predictible next word-set is: lost, crash site, human remains, medical examiner. Just words to the wise.

Original graphic on the front page of CNN...

Clearly, it reads "HATE of the Union"; crafted with a clever font so the lefty graphic artist can deny deny deny. Gimme a break CNN! I try, really, try hard, to find unfair-ities on Fox, but I haven't found them. CNN serves them to me daily on a fine platter.

For days and days all the media could say is how much risk there was to Bush if he held and election and nobody went. Today, their very own picture shows throngs of people in line to vote. And here's where the not-so-subtle distinctions between Foxnews and CNN shine: CNN Headline = "Iraqis Vote Amid Violence" FNC Headline = "Millions Cast Ballots Despite Violence" Given the unbelievably high turnout, and the relatively low number of successful attacks (~45 dead at this writing), which one seems more apropos? Which one captures the essence of this history in the making... shame on you CNN. SHAME! PS: To you pinko floozers, before you say 'every person murdered matters!', where's your perspective? These people are voting for their liberty for the first time in the history of an Arab nation. The motto of New Hampshire, words ringing from our very own battle for liberty, LIVE FREE OR DIE, should be tattooed on your pink faces!

www.cnn.com/2005/HEALTH/01/17/morning.after.pill.ap/index.html The conservatives, who claim "no big government!" want to Nannycam the People when it suits their agenda. They are "concerned" the Plan B pill would be "abused" if available over the counter. Bullshit, they oppose the very idea of birth control. Not only that, what business is it of theirs if it is? The lefties are horrified; they want to dictate all installations of the Nannycam. But taste the cough syrup, o' Libs-Governing-My-Life. "We must not allow 'hate' speech! protect the children!" and "we must ban SUVs!" while we fly four 747s all over the world for a dumb concert (Madonna) or chop up a beautiful Malibu cliff for our sprawling estate (Streisand). Libs, you can't have it both ways; if you want Nannyism, the conservatives get to put their cameras in, too.

Read all about it The political papas are at it again. They propose that common cold medicines are whisked out of arm's reach, tucked safely behind the protective bar of a pharmacists counter. There, the pharmacist can ration the appropriate dose, monitor your purchases through a government-sponsored database, and ensure that no bad people lay their hands on the stuff. What are they up to? It turns out our self-appointed old folks think that there are just entirely too many meth cookers lurking around every tree, and that our cold medicines faciliate their businesses. If they only make it a little harder to get the fixins' for meth, well she-ewt, the kids will be just plain better off. The papas cite a decrease of 80% in the number of meth lab "busts" as the shining example of how grandly such a master plan has succeeded in Oaklahoma. Unfortunately, there are no statistics to substantiate tht this fact equals success. Has Oaklahoma seen an 80% decrease in the number of meth users? Meth related crime? Nooooo? Then do tell, Papa Okie, have your watchdog labs analyzed the meth seized recently? Don't tell me, the fixins' have done gone and changed since one of them is gittin' tough to git... That's precisely the result of the drug war, and its myopic focus on its manufacture and distribution. Nothing. The manufacturers will just find another way, period. Drug use in this country has remained steady, and when there have been dips in drug use, it's been entirely due to changes in the habits of the users. LSD use, for example tapered off not because it was suddenly impossible to get the ingredients, not becuase it was suddenly illegal, but because people stopped using it as much. Even more frightful, the papas cite DEA support of the cold pill control plan. Fantastic, the agency largely responsible for putting people beind bars for their entire lives for a first-time pot bust, the agency responsible for witch hunting doctors who--get this--prescribe pain medication to people in pain, is in favor of plans to monitor your cold medicine purchases. I feel safer already.