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This is an absolutely fascinating article. It talks about how the moon is drifting away from the earth at about 1.5 inches a year. Okay, what goddamn SUV is causing this! Which capitalist pig! We must stop this, NOW! Our universe isn't supposed to change! Not one inch, not one degree! Humans must intervene to stop this madness! Wait, didn't human intervention cause this? Forget humans intervening. Call in the mules! The elephants! The rhinos! To hell with humans!
If you applied the logic of global warming parrots to the movement of the moon, we'd have to get rid of all SUVs and humans and go do something about this shift.
But it gets better...according to scientists, probably the same ones who tell us humans are going to destroy the earth if the average temperature rises by 5 friggin degrees (no kidding, this is the worst case scenario the chicken littles can offer), we shall all perish. Those scientists are telling us unless we can push the earth away from the sun, at some point it will incinerate us when it "swells into a red giant."
Huh? Earth is going to be cooked to fairy dust by the swelling red giant of a sun and they wanna take away my SUV? Doesn't this mean that it is possible the SUN has changed the heat it sends to earth, even if very subtly, as it prepares to swell into a red giant?
Or shouldn't we all just live for today ! mama mia....